World of Apex

The Art of Necromancy

2006-10-31T18:28:00.000-08:00

Those of you who were looking to gain knowledge into the arcane science of reanimating the dead should look elsewhere. The title isn't about THAT kind of necromancy. Instead, I'll recount the tale of how a great lua coding wizard and an adept in the ways of Hammer forged an alliance to rebuild that which was lost long ago in the hazy beginnings of Garry's Mod 9.

Once upon a time, there lived a great wizard of the magical programming arts, who went by the name of n00854180t. One day, this great wizard was traveling across the great continent of Garry's Mod game modes and scripts when he came across ship, stuck on the beach, half built. He stopped, admiring what work had been completed on the ship, but was saddened that it had been left on the beach and would never be finished. But then a journeying cartographer named Apex came across the ship and the wizard, and he too stopped to admire the ship in its partially-built beauty.

Then spoke he to the wizard, "Alas, a shame it shall never set sail. What a sight it would be upon the shifting waves of the ocean."

Replied the wizard, "Indeed it would be good sir, a formidable vessel it would be. A great loss to the world, this unfinished ship and its untapped potential."

The cartographer stood a moment more, looking upon the vessel. Just then, an idea occurred to him, and he turned once more to the wizard.

"We could finish it for him!" He exclaimed.

"We might, had we the power," said the wizard, "It would take a grand effort to restore this ship and set it afloat."

"Between the two of us we could do it," replied the cartographer.

And so the two set to work. The wizard used his powers to rebuild the parts and patch the holes in the ship's sides, while the cartographer toiled away to once again make the ship beautiful. After long hours of labor, they stood back to admire the nearly finished vessel and the work they had put forth. But just then the shipmaker EmpV returned from his outing, amazed and delighted to see his ship nearly complete and shining like a diamond in the sun.

"Incredible," said he, "that two travelers may come upon my creation and aid my efforts so. I thank you strangers, now let us set sail!"

The story does not end there, however. The three continue to build their ship, hoping someday it will be seaworthy.

//

Pirateship Wars Redux by Apex, n00854180t and EmpV

Have fun, and I hope to see some new faces on our test server when it's back up!

Same old, same old

2006-08-22T16:43:00.000-07:00

Good day, sports fans! That's right, for the 16th year running* EA has served up a dish of Madden NFL. After the inhumanity that was Madden '06 for the Xbox 360, has EA pulled their collective heads out of their collective asses to make a good football game? The short answer is, not really. The long answer is this review.

Madden '07 (Xbox 360)

Do you know those players in the NFL that have a distinctive style to them, that never changes? A running back with a non-stop smash-mouth approach, or maybe a quarterback that likes to run and gun? They're consistent, which is kind of like Madden has been the past few years. Unfortunately, a consistent player doesn't make a great player. After all, they could be consistently bad. I'm not saying Madden has been consistently bad. It's playable, it's decently realistic, the graphics are nice, but it's just not the real football simulation it's supposed to be. Madden is to football as Project Gotham Racing is to its respective genre: not too over the top and arcade styled, but nowhere realistic enough for the true fans.

Luckily, this time around EA did attempt to fix some of what they broke in Madden '06. They added create a player this time, as well as a score of other missing features from the last iteration. Some overhauled animations, slightly spiffed up graphics, and a tweaked interface round out the majority of the other fixes. However, one very big sore still remains untreated...there is no signature Madden/Summerall color commentary. How can you possibly name the game after someone who's not even in it? Alright, he IS in the "Ask Madden" play chooser thing, but that's not commentary now is it? Overall the differences between last year and this year are much more distinct than most years, if only because this time they released a full game instead of a demo.

Remember what I said about consistency? Here it is, Madden's gameplay. It's been the same for the past five or more years, with small additions here and there. It's still just as mediocre as it was last year. And the year before, and before. Computer AI is still thick up to the highest difficulty, players still clip through each other, stand around dumbly during a play and get stuck fairly often. This year's gimmick feature is the offensive version of the last gimmick the "Hit Stick." The "Highlight Stick" is a fancy way of saying you can use the right analog stick to throw out automatically chosen evasion moves on demand. That is, left on the stick will juke, spin, step or whatever is deemed cool enough at the time, to the left. The move is chosen by the computer based on context, eliminating any need for pressing those pesky buttons to pull of cool moves. Coupled with the new lead blocker controls, you should be teh juggarnaut, right? Well...the lead blocker thing isn't so great in practice. The problem is the same thick AI that controls your braindead opponents and stuck players, also takes immediate control of your ball carrier when you jump into the blocker's shoes. That means your perfectly planned burst through the hole you'll create gets turned into a double reverse for a 10 yard loss. As I said, it may be playable, but it's not the football simulation people seem to think it is.

There's just not that much to say here. Take my previous review of Madden '06, add in all of the features they cut to rush the release last year, then insert the new gimmick stick and lead blocker controls in the mix and you have this year's first and only NFL game. It's a better showing than last year, but that's not saying much.

Presentation: 5/10 - The menus are fine, but the lack of color commentary is disgraceful.

Gameplay: 7/10 - Another year, another gimmick.

Replayability: 7/10 - Well, at least it has Live.

Value: 7/10 - It's a complete game this year, amazing!

Overall/Summary: 7/10 - Same old, same old.

That done with I'll definitely be reviewing Dead Rising now that I've beaten it through the "True Ending" and unlocked Infinity Mode. Next week Saint's Row hits the streets, and I'll be sure to report whether or not the framerate issues of the demo are still there in my full review.

Why Xbox Live Rocks

2006-08-04T17:56:00.000-07:00

For those of you in the Xbox 360 loop, right now is a time of rejoicing. The dry summer game drought is coming to a close, and demos galore are hitting the Marketplace screaming for your undivided attention. Some are brand new and long before release, and others will be launching right after you finish the demo. So how many purchases will you be making for your 360 this month? Let's break it down...

1. Saint's Row

Everyone knew a GTA style game would be hitting the next-gen before Rockstar got GTA4 out. While the pairing of THQ and Volition (who together made the Red Faction series) may seem an unlikely one for this type of game, the demo speaks for itself. The graphics aren't the only improvement Volition's made to the free-roaming urban shooter genre. A smooth combat system with equally smooth controls, a much more interactive and destructible environment powered by the famous Havok physics engine, and unrivaled character and vehicle customization are set to step up the competition for Rockstar on their home turf. Full ragdoll physics on every character in the game provides an extremely entertaining and satisfying effect to the game as a whole. The melee combat system is a great feature, adding new depth to brawling with the enemy and fighting in close combat with firearms (who doesn't love pistol whips?). Remember the parts in San Andreas where you could aim manually instead of just left or right? It's here, for every drive-by enabled weapon, on every vehicle. Speaking of drive-by enabled weapons, pistols are included in that as well, which is nice. The story is nothing you haven't heard, seen or played before, but is at least solid and cohearent. It'll be interesting to see how the full version comes out, scheduled tenatively for release the 29th of this month.

2. Dead Rising

A zombie survival horror game from Capcom, with co-op multiplayer, and you can use practically anything as a weapon? Are you kidding me? How can this NOT rock? The demo definitely doesn't dissapoint, despite being only single player. I for one would have liked to try out the multiplayer as well, but I can live with twenty minutes of high-def zombie splatterfest for another four days. To put it bluntly, this demo is superb aside from the unmarked game-ending boundaries and unmentioned time limit. The graphics may not seem truely "next gen" at first glance, but once you zoom out and see hundreds, yes hundreds of zombies in all shapes, sizes and states of decomposition on your screen you'll think otherwise. All of the characters are well detailed by themselves, but en masse it's simply amazing. The environments are moody, equally detailed and chock full of makeshift weapons to battle your undead adversaries with. The demo only allowed a look at the main area of the mall, but there are hints of a much larger play area between the locked doors, blocked off areas and bits from trailers. I'll give the full rundown on this one when I get my copy next week, but until then see how many zombies you can massacre in the demo, I've gotten nearly 300 in one run!

3. Live Arcade releases

After a long wait, Street Fighter II: Hyper Fighting has finally seen the proverbial light of day. Fighter fans rejoice...right? Maybe not. The visuals have been excellently HD-ized™ and the expected selection of characters and stages is there. The thing that has rubbed most people the wrong way is the cranked up difficulty. Personally, I suck at fighting games anyway, so I couldn't tell you one way or the other how hard it is, but most people I've spoken with have said the same thing. Xbox Live multiplayer should keep the fighter fanatics occupied and their minds off of the single game though. Just ot be sure, check out the trial first.

Last month we saw a couple of arcade classics come back in their spiffed-up HD form. After the success of Frogger and its online co-op mode, more arcade revamps were to be expected. Galaga hit the Live Arcade recently, and is all the vertical space-shooter goodness you remember from the cabinet days. There's not much else to say than it's still a solid arcade title, and fans of the era or the game in particular should grab the demo and maybe the full game.

The final Arcade release is another strange indy game. First we had Wik, then Outpost Kaloki X, and now Cloning Clyde. The game has an endearing 3D comic look to it, filled with comedic charm and platforming action that will keep you entertained at the very least. Our protagonist Clyde has been let loose into a mysterious lab by way of a freak accident that has also put several other Clydes on the lamb, leaving helpful notes to you on their way. Straightforward platforming and puzzle solving blends neatly with belly-flopping, ninja-kicking action and genetic engineering to deliver what can only be described as a decidedly...unique...gaming experience. On the short, it's cool, quirky, and at least worth taking a look at.

That's about it I guess, at least for the moment. I'll crawl back into my hole now and wait impatiently for Dead Rising to get here next week so I can murder more zombies. Speaking of...next week's topic...is it really murder when you kill zombies? Think on it!

More, more, more...

2006-07-28T22:28:00.000-07:00

I've been spending tons of time recently playing and mapping for Titan Quest. Recent patches, additions to my multiplayer party, and new mods have really started to pull this game from "cool" to "damn good" rating. All but one of the small list of bugs that got on my nerves have been patched, the last has a simple workaround for the moment, and more patches are in the works according to Iron Lore. I'm glad to see they acknowledge their game does have its flaws are are willing to fix them as quickly as they can. Anyway, I won't give a long, drawn out and detailed review of Titan Quest here, since I'll probably be writing it for D-Pad along with the other reviews I've been neglecting. I will say however that if you're a fan of the Diablo style, or like any type of action-RPG, Titan Quest would be a good choice to bring the old style into the new millenium.

I've been busy lately, very busy in fact. I finally got my laptop back from HP support, for the second time in a month. The turnaround was fast, GG FedEx and pre-paid shipping labels so thoughtfully provided by HP. However the actual repair service left much to be desired. When I got it back the first time, I fired it up and was greeted by a blank screen. Great. The backlight on the LCD went out, much to my dismay, so I immediately sent HP an internet to tell them about the new problem. Half an hour later a rather cheery fellow of obvious Indian heritage called me, immediately rousing suspicion as the caller ID read "Texas" and he was most certainly not from that particular meaning of "the south." A conversation ensued. Here is the dramatic re-enactment:

Apex encounters Tech-Support
Tech-Support uses feat STUPID QUESTION
Apex becomes confused
Apex counters with LOGIC
Tech-Support is IMMUNE!

A stalemate ensued, at which time I decided to bring out the laptop and describe the physical appearance of the screen in question if need be, so long as I could get off of the phone with this guy. Right then the impossible happened: the screen blinked to life. I knew then I had been made a fool of by my own hardware. With no explanation for the "specialist" I resigned with a curt thank you and hung up. The crisis was not over however...no sooner did I lift the laptop to move it when, with a silent death wail, the laptop's backlight went dark once and for all. Unwilling to call back the obviously overworked support staff at HP, I sent another email saying the problem had returned as mysteriously as it left not ten minutes before. My reply came in short order: a standard, cookie-cutter support mail asking me to once again diagnose my system by their standards and inform them if the problem persists. Apparently they "understand the system does not work fine" and I should "isolate problem from a potential software problem." I had enough, and without thinking I wrote a mildly scathing email laying out the exact problem, what caused it, what it was that needed replaced and thought seriously about including the part number as well. Less than a day later I had a new drop box, and two days after that, a fully functional laptop.

Overdramatized personal crisis of the week aside, I was glad to note the new demos released on Xbox Live recently, and took the time out of my busy support-slave harassing schedule to evaluate the much talked about 99 Nights and the better-late-than-never DoA4...

99 Nights

This title has been shoved down the throats of the gaming public since its conception. Its hook is the promise of massive battles, flashy graphics and next-gen thrills. Meatloaf says two out of three ain't bad. Apex says it ain't good either. 99 Nights is your everyday cut and dry Dynasty Warriors knockoff, pure and simple. Unadulterated mass hack and slash that will wear both your thumb and the X button on at least one controller into submission. Despite that, the game is quite thrilling. The visuals are more than impressive, with the high detail player models you've come to expect...applied to every character in the game. All two thousand on the screen at once. You'll tear through hundreds of goblin infantry, dodge some arrows, fire some magic missiles and hopefully find some Cheetos in the process. You'll level up, get a new weapon or two, issue orders to your troops, learn new combos and unlock more flashy special attacks. When all of that is done, and you're finally out of things to do...you realize it's only been ten minutes and you haven't finished the demo yet. It's overly simple, overly repetitive, overly flashy, and worst of all overly generic. It's the same large-scale hack and slash you've been playing since the first Dynasty Warriors, except it's HIGH DEFINITION. Don't fall prey to that buzzword though, because unless you really have an addiction to uninspired Japanese hack and slash games that try much too hard to be cool, you should avoid this game and its media-induced frenzy.

Dead or Alive 4

That's right, the DoA4 demo is here. It's only been 8 months since it was released, right? Though the guys behind the game may expect more people to simply buy their awesome game than wait to try it first, they finally gave in and have decided their sales weren't strong enough to let people off without knowing how unbelievably awesome their game is. That last sentance isn't laced with as much sarcasm as you would think. The game is solid, polished, smooth and the graphics are as beautiful as the chicks it features. The environments are detailed, spacious and pleasantly interactive, lending a nice twist to the often button-mashing gameplay that all fighters share. Lots of unlockables, multiplayer options, game modes and an overall very enjoyable experience make DoA4 worth at least spending the bandwidth to check out this demo for fighter fans and non-fighter-fans alike.

As a final note, I recently decided to try out Galactic Civilizations 2, after shunning its turn-based strategy style for quite some time. I'm still not a fan of turn based games in general, including turn-based RPGs. The game seems great all around, with a suffocating amount of depth to it, and everything a turn-based strategy nut would ever dream of. Aside from the pure awesomeness of designing your own ships with a huge array of physical and functional parts from wings and armor plates to weapons, engines and comms equipment, I still find the game somewhat boring. The demo doesn't seem to get the message across, so hopefulyl the full game is better off, but until I know for sure this one will stay in limbo.

Long Time, No See

2006-07-02T17:54:00.000-07:00

I'm a very sporadic writer, especially if I'm not required to write on a regular basis. So, that said, every so often a conversation trips my writing instinct and I just have to put something down to get it out of my head. Now is one of those times.

Topic of the day: Gameplay or Graphics?

Now, before you immediately jump up my metaphorical ass and start yelling "GAMEPLAY YOU IDIOT," there is a point to this little rant. The point is, people are too one-sided, short-sighted and closed-minded about this issue. As soon as you ask the question I just asked, you'll get the reponse I just quoted. People these days are starting to turn against visual effects in favor of "new and different" ways of playing their games. It won't matter if it's the same exact game as before, as long as they have some new, fancy way of playing it. Case in point, despite the fact I'll get flamed for saying it, is the Nintendo Wii.

I'm not going to bash the console itself, so don't have an aneurism. The console is fine. However, the reasons people want to buy it are not. Ever since Nintendo used their little viral marketing scheme by abstractly naming their new console to generate buzz, then announced the inclusion of a motion-sensing controller, people have taken arms against the natural progression of videogame technology, jumping on a pop culture bandwagon instead. Gameplay! Gameplay! We don't care about the graphics, it's all about the gameplay!

Let's take a look back at the gaming industry before we go any further, to see how this mindset came into being. Over the past few years, videogames have become much more commercialized, corporate and generally have been made into a giant money machine by the big boys of the industry. EA churns out the same sports games each year with an updated roster and new soundtrack, companies pump out generic first person shooters like freebie fliers at a newsstand, Diablo clones 100 to 125 are made, and people gleefully slap $50 on the desk of their local retailer to buy them. However, even the general public isn't so blind as to wittingly accept this for very long. Catching on to the corporations evil schemes, the public has decided to "just say no" to things that aren't innovating. This isn't completely a bad thing, because it means people might finally wake up to the fact companies like EA are leeching money from their pockets every year for the same game, but it's also not a wholely good thing either. What would happen if people rebel against the publishers and say no to prettier graphics and yes to more gameplay?

In the real world, the publishers would ignore the public and continue on their merry way, because a few black sheep in the flock won't lead the rest astray. Let's be hypothetical for a moment though, and assume game companies actually cared about the customers and did in fact listen. If that were the case, the companies would have no motivation to make games look better whatsoever, and would cease improving visuals completely to save money. Imagine all of the dough they could save by not having fancy graphics! They could fire dozens of artists and cut down staff! Effectively, people would be stuck where we are now for the next ten years (the predicted time frame for the next shift in gamer interest, by my calculations). Games would look exactly as they do right now, on every system. There will be no Crysis, Gears of War, or Spore. All of them use new graphics technologies to improve the game.

You see, what people don't get is improving the graphics is a natural part of game evolution. Graphics have improved since Pong to become what they have today. Look at all of the classics we have today, then think to yourself, "what if people had decided Pong's graphics were good enough?" The art is as much a part of the game as the play style; one can not exist without the other. Gameplay is only half of the equation, on one side of the balance.

So, my final question to you is: Why can't we have both? What's so bad about having a fun game with really nice graphics? This day and age there's no reason we can't, as gamers, have our proverbial cake and eat it too. Giant game companies spend millions upon millions of dollars on development of these games, with hundreds of employees dedicated to them at a time, so why can't it look AND play great?

Aside: Reviews of games I recently purchased, in four words or less!

Hitman: Blood Money (Xbox360) - Hello, Mister 47.
Battlefield 2: Modern Combat (Xbox360) - Xbox Live or bust.
Titan Quest (PC) - Better Diablo, plus Co-op!
HL2: Episode 1 (PC) - Six more hours!
Rush for Berlin (PC) - Rush to return it.

Mod edition...

Dystopia (HL2) - Two words: Freakin' sweet
Hidden (HL2) - He's behind you.
Troy (HL2) - Pitt missing, thank Gods.
MultiTES4(Oblivion) - It's a start.
Star Wars (M&B) - Needs more blasters.
MultiTheftAuto (GTA:SA) - Ghetto blastin' online.

Demo edition...

Prey (PC) - Gravity rollercoaster.

That's all folks. I might post again this month. Maybe.

Oblivion, Part One

2006-04-09T18:02:00.000-07:00

So I haven't gotten around to the Oblivion review. Deal with it. If you haven't gotten the memo, go buy this game RIGHT NOW. I've got both the PC and Xbox 360 version, and both are totally worth it. The 360's graphics completely smoke those of the PC counterpart in every way, and make the $400 box more than worth the price compared to the $4000 or more in PC hardware you would need to get anywhere close.

Sometime this week I *might* get around to a full review, partly because I have to write one for Dpad. After over 100 hours put in the game, I'm still hooked. I have three guilds to complete, and 6 more Daedric shrine quests to complete as well. There's much more to the game than that, too.

Trust me. Buy it.

"X" Because It's Extra, Baby

2006-03-16T13:09:00.000-08:00

In case you're wondering, the title is from a They Might Be Giants song. Furthermore, it's a TMBG song that happens to be currently residing on my new, wonderful Cowon iAudio X5L music player. In FLAC format. Booyah.

I now present to you the first hardware review I've done since the Xbox 360 launched...

Cowon iAudio X5L

I've been using my Zodiac as a surrogate MP3 player for almost two years now, and it finally got to me last week. I'd been mulling over buying a new player for a couple months, and had recently fallen in love with the FLAC lossless format, so finding a new one that could meet my hefty demands was tough. Luckily it's extremely difficult for me to convince myself of buying anything, which means I always spend weeks researching and comparing every single aspect of a product to other, similar ones. My list included basically two brands, iRiver and Creative, but neither played the FLAC format I held so dearly. I knew for sure I wouldn't be buying the overpriced, cheaply made rubbish that Apple puts out and mistakenly labels an "mp3 player," nor would I settle for an old Rio Karma. I was running out of hope I would ever find a player to fit my needs...then I found Cowon. After a few days of studious comparing, reading user reviews and interrogating my friend Ender about his, I decided to make the purchase.

Only two days later I recieved my brand spanking new Cowon iAudio X5L via UPS. I'd gotten a killer deal on it from Newegg: the normally $329 30GB model was on sale for $289. I viciously murdered the annoying, sealed plastic packaging and snatched the player from its evil clutches. The sleek black and silver design caught my eye right away, as well as the well placed buttons and ports along the sides. I noticed that while the player isn't feather light, its weight was reassuring; it was sturdy and well built. The five-way navigator seemed strangely placed, to the bottom right of the screen. The power button was one of those little slide things that you hold to turn on, and it went two directions, one for power, the other for hold mode. I unpacked the rest of the kit, which included the essentials: power pack, USB cable, software CD, and a little black thing. The little black thing was the charger/USB sub-pack, which plugs into the bottom port and has the aforementioned cables plug into it, as well as a line-in and line-out for recording and playing, respectively. The sub-pack seemed a bit awkward at first, but turned out to be no big hassle as I plugged it all in, and then...

BLEEM! I was practically blinded by the screen's brightness and clarity. The screaming blue and white charging screen gave me my first objective: turn down the brightness! A friend of mine said his only real complaint was the menus are a bit difficult to get through, but I had no trouble with it myself. The only difficulty was finding the brightness option in the myriad of other ones, from programmable buttons to display options, playback options and effects. I cranked down the brightness from five to two, noticing you can increase it all the way to ten, which apparently is Holy Light and can destroy undead. I poked about the options some more, trying out the equalizer settings, BBE bass management and the like, until I decided it was time to try out the playback. Luckily, the guys at Cowon decided to use the player as a propaganda medium, with included info videos on each product line they make, as well as a song modestly titled "iAudio Theme Song." I tried a video or two out and was impressed by the quality, which was exceptional for such a small screen. The R&B theme song didn't give much of an impression of the sound, though, so I was off to install it on my PC. I plugged the USB connector into my PC, then the mini-USB side into the player, forgetting all about the software, and probably important drivers on the CD...

BOOP!
Found new hardware: iAudo X5L
Found new hardware: USB Mass Storage Device
Your new hardware is installed and ready to use.

It was that easy. No software to install. In fact, you don't even need to pop in the CD. The included software is decent; one is a media player and the other is a conversion and backup utility. The latter converts most any video to the MPEG-2 format the player uses at a good speed, but otherwise is a fancier looking VirtualDub. Anyway, Windows popped up with a window asking what do with the files on the disk, so I opened it up and looked around the file structure. A folder was there for each media type: pictures, music, movies, textfile. There was also a folder for firmware, so upgrading the firmware is only a matter of drag, drop, and reset. From there I proceeded to copy music from my drive like mad, piling in precisely 444 songs in about an hour's time. Along with the music, which is arranged like so: Genre-->Sub-Category-->Artist-->Album, I tossed my *.m3u playlists for each album into the, you guessed it, playlists folder. My 444 tracks were spread out across a few genres like classic rock, techno and orchestral, and ranged from high-bitrate MP3 to OGG and FLAC. Figuring that was a pretty good spread, I disconnected it from the USB, plugged in my headphones and queued up the Oblivion soundtrack...

Just as I was dazzled by the brightness and clarity of the screen, I was amazed by the quality of the audio. If I were to close my eyes and just listen, I could imagine myself sitting in Tamriel, the quality (and music) was just that good. Thanks in part to a great 3D surround effect built into the player, the BBE bass, MP enhancement, and a nice graphical equalizer, the audio practically came to life. At first I thought it might just be the lossless FLAC doing it, but I was pleased to find out even the mundane, lossy MP3 format sounded much better. Finally assured the quality was in fact as stellar as I first thought, I decided to check out some of the other features...

Getting better aquainted with the menu system took a small bit of thinking. The five way stick thinger wasn't a new experience, since I've used many PDA's before, however I never think of the most obvious way to do things. It makes perfect sense to click down the stick and hold it to bring up the menu, since the horizontal controls skipping and verticle controls volume. A single click will take you to the file browser and let you move about your folders, where you can select songs or folders to either play or add to the Winamp-esque Dynamic PlayList (DPL). Since the nav-stick takes care of moving and selecting, the Pause/Play button on the right side of the player does the actual, well, pausing and playing. Both this key, and the Record key directly above it, can be programmed to do one of a handful of handy functions when you hold it down. Mine are set to change play mode and bring up the equalizer. Speaking of play modes, the ability to change between bounded, which only plays tracks within the specified area in order, and shuffle, which randomizes the tracks in that bounded area, is extremely useful. When I say "bounded area," I'm referring to another option, which allows you to set the area which the player can pick songs from to the entire hard disk, main folders (like genre), or only sub-folder (artist or album). The amount of options you can toy with is huge. After I emerged from the settings menu, I decided to wander over to the picture display feature and check that out, too. Displaying pictures by themselves isn't very useful to me, but you can set your wallpaper that displays behind the track info on the main player screen here. I resized a few desktop backgrounds and made a couple myself for the hell of it, so I've got enough background images to last me awhile. Also listed on the main menu is FM radio, which doesn't interest me much. I've got a library of high or perfect quality music, why use FM? It's nice to know it's there though, and I can record straight from the radio to MP3 if I need to. Upon further inspection of the little sub-pack thing, I can record tracks through line-in, which could come in very handy. Speaking of recording, there's a nice voice recorder built in as well, which has surprisingly good quality.

During the course of the last day and a half, I've been using it almost constantly and haven't made a dent in the battery power whatsoever. The X5L is designated as such because of the larger battery, which adds a whole 1 ounce of weight and 4 milimeters of width to the unit, but raises the battery life to around thirty hours.

All in all, the X5L is an amazing piece of hardware. It's got twice the capacity of my old brick of a player, it's less than half the weight and thickness, has a full color screen that's incredibly clear and bright, and has awesome battery life. The onboard menus and browsing is easy, natural and pretty fast (especially if you use playlists often). Playback quality is stellar, and it even improves those lossy MP3's. The support of FLAC lossless and OGG along with the standard codecs is great, and the effects, equalizer and enhancements make the sound come to life.

Apex's Rating: 9/10

This is the best player out there if you want great audio quality and ease of use rather than a trendy fashion accessory.

ADDENDUM: I experimented with the USB a bit and connected it to my Xbox 360 without a hitch. It works perfectly and playing music off of it is a breeze.

Fight Night is Every Night

2006-03-16T11:53:00.000-08:00

Fight Night Round 3

Lets face it, EA's Xbox 360 lineup as been less than enjoyable. Oh hell, why beat around the bush? Their lineup of consistently milked franchise sports games outright sucked. Luckily for all you boxing fans and non-fans alike, the publisher decided not to rush Fight Night the same way, and surprisingly, the game exceeds expectations. Proving that they really can improve on one of their franchises instead of sitting on it and reeling in the cash, Fight Night delivers a genuinely fun and spectacular looking boxing title.

Fight Night is the only game I've ever seen that can render such ugly fighters so beautifully. The visuals here can only be described as an experience, and really show what the console is capable of in only its second generation of games. Boxing is a perfect sport for visual overkill, and EA knows it. From the perfectly modeled meshes, highly detailed textures and animated cloth to dripping sweat and skin that ripples with the impact of punches, everything is here in excess. The environments make liberal use of the bloom lighting effect, while extremely high quality bump mapping gives everything in view realistic depth. All around, the graphics are just plain jaw dropping.

Traditionally, sports games are known for great sound effects and incredibly bad musical selection; both of those are here. While the soundtrack leaves much to be desired for anyone with little taste for rap, the sounds in the ring are excellent. Scuffling feet, the breath of both fighters, and of course the impact of punches are clearly audible and sound like you're ringside at a real fight. Again, the quality and amount of sound effects does lead to some overkill during knockdown replays, but it's bearable enough. The commentary is fairly good, but you will often be unsure who the announcer is referring to, and his rambling can be difficult to follow. Between rounds your trainer will try to perk you up with one of a handful of generic pep-talk lines, but who listens to that guy anyway? The main focus is definitely in the ring, where the game delivers a perfect audio compliment to the incredible graphics.

The graphics do provide the jaw-drop factor, but for once EA shows that graphics aren't everything. The game itself is simply a great boxing game, which does justice to the sport to more than just fans. Amazingly smooth movement and animation, coupled with sensible, easy to learn controls come together to make a game that's simple enough to learn, yet hard to master. Using the left stick to shuffle around and the right to throw punches is fluid and comfortable to use. The two triggers provide secondary modes for the sticks: the left trigger lets you dodge and lean with the left stick, while the right stick is switched to throwing body blows; the right trigger changes the right stick to blocking and parrying, but does nothing to the left stick, allowing you to move and ward off shots. The parry feature is extremely useful in fights, and lets you get a quick shot in on your opponent when he screws up, but takes some practice and fast reflexes to get the right direction in time. The right bumper is the conveniently placed special punch button, so you can let loose your signature haymaker at precisely the right moment. That's right, there's an EA sports game out there with great controls...imagine that!

The single game is exactly what you would expect: a straightforward career mode. The standard "take your created fighter from amateur to champion" type mode is old news, but still enjoyable. Although you have fairly limited options for character creation, it's not that big of a deal. The facial deforming system would be understandably difficult to customize, and you wouldn't want your pretty face getting pummeled anyway, would you? If you get tired of the path to glory you can jump into an ESPN Classic fight, which lets you try your hand at defying historical matches like Ali vs. Frasier. You can also fire up a single match whenever you like for practice as well. All of the single modes are accompanied by pretty decent AI, which is a reasonable challenge even on the lower settings. The higher the difficulty goes, though, it seems your character gets dumber and weaker instead of the other guy getting better (which is trademark EA). The parrying system gives a distinct advantage to the AI's faster reflexes, and you will occasionally get beaten down by a fighter that does nothing but parry punches. The single game wasn't broken, so it didn't get fixed, but then again it didn't really get improved either.

One thing that's very noticeable about Fight Night is that the game has a pick up and play nature to it, which fits perfectly for multiplayer matches. Unlike a certain Ubisoft game, the multiplayer does happen to use the same game engine as the single player modes, so the graphics are just as good there. Since the game is one on one, lag is kept to a minimum and the fights tend to stay fast paced. One thing that would've been a nice addition is an online career mode, similar to the one PGR3 had. Fighting actual people for titles online would add a lot to the multiplayer replayability. Aside from that, what's there is solid none the less.

The replay value is pretty good with Fight Night. Having both an enjoyable multiplayer you can jump right into and a single player you can go through in different ways helps keep the game alive after your first character is king of the ring. If you don't want to just randomly battle people online, you can make a new character in one of the five other weight classes you didn't pick the first time and try there. The difference between heavyweight and lightweight fighters is distinct, and comes off as a whole new experience. A good bit of replayability, even for you single player junkies.

As the announcer in Fight Night would say, the game comes through with a convincing win. It's gorgeous, easy to pick up and play, and has enough depth and replay to keep you coming back.

Presentation: 9/10 - Shock and awe.

Gameplay: 8/10 - Fluid controls and movement are the key to any boxing game.

Replayability: 7/10 - It's there, maybe not in droves, but it's there.

Value: 8/10 - I never thought I would say "the best purchase I made this week was a boxing game."

Overall/Summary: 8/10 - The must have boxing game.

Crossing Genres

2006-03-11T19:37:00.000-08:00

Hey! You got your roleplaying game in my mainstream action game! Hey! You got your mainstream action game in my roleplaying game! With more and more character customization, open ended gameplay and wide worlds to explore, people have been overlooking where all of that came from: the geeky, old school RPG.

Not many people look at Grand Theft Auto and say, "Hey, check out that roleplaying game!" GTA is an action game, right? Right? Maybe not as much as people would like to admit (especially Jack Thompson). Think about it, though...you have a customizable character who can use various weapons and modes of transportation, with which you can improve your skill level by using them. Sounds alot like a certain big-name RPG we're waiting nine more days to get, doesn't it? The comparison doesn't stop there though, because even the worlds they're set in closely coincide. Most RPG's have large, open worlds to explore and a quest system to progress the storyline, as well as a bunch of neat side-quests to provide a break from the main plot. All of those are in GTA, a game where you have a city (whether it be three islands, a coast and an island, or a large three district metropolis) to explore in which you can pick up missions to progress the story, or go wandering about during or between said missions doing side-quests. The parts all add up, and the only missing piece would be experience points and skill points...or is it?

The newest movement in roleplaying games is the true action RPG, a game with the base roleplaying elements mixed with a fine blend of the kind of action you would expect from shooters. The hack and slash days are coming to a close, and the modern fantasy combat is moving in, with games such as Mount&Blade, Oblivion, and Project Offset leading the push. The lines between action games like GTA and roleplayers like Oblivion is being blurred to the point that the only distinction is stereotypical setting. The only thing that separates killing pedestrians in GTA and murdering villiage folk in Oblivion is...well...the villiage.

Are games that cross genres going to take over gaming? Are we ever going to see any more one-track games like the sidescrollers of old? Is the concept-turned-reality of massive, open worlds going to invade the industry the way MMO games have? Drop a comment with your thoughts.

Advanced What?

2006-03-10T15:28:00.000-08:00

It seems the dry spell in my blog posts has been about the same length as the dry spell for Xbox 360 releases. Luckily for both, today that ends and I shall bring to you a full review of the recently released Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter.

Love it or hate it, Ghost Recon has built itself up as a powerful console game. Although the series has always been present on the PC it's undoubtedly a console franchise (mainly because PC gamers have better games to worry about, like Half Life 2 and FEAR). I've not been a fan of the games myself for numerous reasons, not the least of which is the fact I'm chiefly a PC gamer. I decided yesterday to give in to the hype and hopes that this iteration would really be great and worthy of the Xbox 360.

If there's anything people have been buzzing about it's the snazzy graphics. They're impressive to say the least, but not without their share of problems. The levels are large and detailed, including destructable objects and lots of explosive things like parked cars. While flying about in the chopper waiting to be deposited into the drop zone you'll get many aerial views of the whole city which are nothing short of amazing. The visuals really sell the "South American Blackhawk Down" look the game sports. While the textures and models are all top notch, the sheer amount of effects on the screen at a time is jaw dropping (and maybe stomach-dropping too if you're the motion sick kind). In addition to the now standard bloom effect for lighting, heat distortion and depth of field are layered atop your view at all times, while amazing looking explosions will rock you out of your seat, spreading dust and grit around liberally. For the most part, the hefty graphics card of the console holds up extremely well, with very few hitches or sputters. The only noticable speed difference is between standard view and night/thermal vision which runs significantly faster for some reason. Your actual view is fairly organized and includes the standard ammo and health displays as well as a live video feed from your squad. All in all, the visuals exceed expectation and run smooth as silk on the 360.

What's a warzone without seat-rocking explosions and gunfire? All of the sounds in GR:AW are excellent, and aid significantly in pulling the player into the world around him. Ambient sounds are not just there, but are critical to your survival on the field; footsteps, conversations, running engines and rolling treads tip you off to enemy positions. Your squad is reasonably vocal, and you'll notice differences in each character's voice extend out to more than just sex and ethnicity. Weapon firing sounds are good, but the chances of identifying enemy weaponry by the sound alone is rather slim. Aside from the effects, the soundtrack is a mixed bag. While the orchestral pieces are incredible, they're separated by mediocre modern rock, though the latter are reserved for intermissions and cutscenes. The sound effects are stellar, and the music is mostly good as well.

All of the nice, pretty stuff aside, here's where it gets hairy: gameplay. The gameplay in general seems very solid and involved while not being overly complex. The standard first and third person shooting parts are there, but the emphasis is on the CrossCom orders system. This is basically a fancy way of saying you select a unit, be it a tank or your squad, with left and right on the d-pad and tell them to move forward or rally with up and down. Luckily, it's more useful than it is complicated, and your units follow their orders well enough. Your squaddies move fluidly and take up positions effectively, and can find you when you issue a rally order. Tanks can only move forward or stop, you can't direct them in any way. Aircraft and drones work about the same as your men on foot. The basics are solidly implimented, but from there the problems start arising. You can heal others, and you can order them to heal each other, but no one can heal you. Apparently commanders have a completely different physiology or something, because while your guys become incapacitated and you can revive them, you just plain die and have to start over. Ubisoft still hasn't figured out how to draw a gun on the screen in first person view, so you're still stuck with just a crosshair, which to me renders this view completely useless. The game's lack of damage scaling is irritating, seeing that three hits from any weapon will kill you no matter where it hits you (excluding the head, which is instant death) and your high-tech "Advanced Warfighter" getup does absolutely nothing to stop flying lead. The biggest problem in the game is your squad mates' IQ, which collectively is about that of a rock. As I mentioned, they move well, but they never crouch and rarely take cover effectively. They will blindly fire in the general direction of an enemy until you kill it or the enemy runs into their bullets. This problem has gotten so bad that once when ordering my squad to take cover behind a parked car, they fired dumbly at the car (which was between them and the enemy, who was behind a wall and out of sight) until it exploded, killing them all. I know squad games generally have bad AI, but the AI was highly touted by Ubisoft and most publications. Irritating bits and stupid AI aside, the base shooter gameplay is good and the commander part is mostly there, leaving you with a pretty decent game.

I've heard tons of people preach that Ghost Recon is one of those games that makes Xbox Live a great service. While I can't vouch for that, I can tell you whatever it was that made the first two such successful multiplayer games isn't there in this one. On top of Ubisoft taking the easy way out and putting absolutely no effort at all into the multiplayer game by directly porting Ghost Recon 2's engine, the character "customization" involves choosing a face texture and a piece of headgear, the graphics match those of GR2 (actually, they're worse, but in higher resolution), and the custom gametypes are just variants of standard ones with slightly altered rules. The gameplay vaguely resembles that of the single player mode, with some important changes. First of all, your CrossCom and squad mates have been replaced with a headset and handful of screaming twelve year olds, and the entire cover system is eliminated completely as well. In other words, the multiplayer is simply a team deathmatch, since all of the tactical elements have been either watered down or removed altogether. On the plus side, the screaming twelve year olds are smarter than your squad AI.

As for replay value, once you slog through the campaign there's little else to do. Though the single game has quite a few missions, the faults of the game will likely keep you from completing it anyway, and the story certainly won't hold your interest. Once you've gone there and blown that up once, it's just the same thing in different settings; repetition at its finest. The hideous multiplayer will likely scare off all but the most diehard Ghost Recon fanboys, and the co-op mode uses the same multiplayer engine that so boldly offends your eyes. There's very little play value, never the less replay value.

I really wish there was a reason to keep playing this game. The single player game mode, generic Tom Clancy storyline aside, is rather enjoyable if it weren't for all of the glaring flaws in it. The graphics are the best you'll see until exactly nine days from now when Oblivion is released. Despite that, however, Ubisoft just plain dropped the ball and delivered a complete letdown of a next-gen game.

Presentation: 9/10 - Certainly the game's strongest point, the presentation is excellent in both sound and graphics departments. For the single player, that is.

Gameplay: 7/10 - Despite a myriad of shortcomings and idiotic balance problems, the shooting is still...well...shooting. That's always fun, right?

Replayability: 4/10 - Thanks to Ubisoft, the key component of this game's replayability has been destroyed. If you can bear to look at the unsightly multiplayer engine, you could get something out of it though.

Value: 4/10 - Not worth the $59.99 I paid for it. I'm returning this one and waiting for Oblivion.

Overall/Summary: 6/10 - Do not believe any hype from the media, do not give in to peer pressure, and whatever you do, do not buy this game without at least playing a demo or renting it. If you can ignore all of the screaming, agonizing problems in the single game you can give it a rental and beat the story mode at the most, but otherwise there's really no reason to waste your money. Buy Oblivion instead.

//TODO:
//Fight Night Round 3 review coming!

//Boxing isn't the most sensible sport, but damn is it fun! Oh and EA didn't ruin this franchise yet.

Balance

2006-02-13T09:33:00.000-08:00

I normally don't go off on a tirade about gameplay balance very often. I'm one of those guys that tells you to find a different tactic if you can't win. Hate the player, not the game. Occasionally however, there are times when balance is so lopsided I absolutely must make it known.

Planetside is a unique game that started a genre. Three years ago, Planetside launched as the first MMOFPS, a distinct shift from Sony's previous MMO ventures with Everquest and Star Wars Galaxies. For once, a player's skill would be rewarded rather than how many hours you've logged and how many macros you've set up to farm. It's a good combination of streaming MMO-style worlds and hardcore shooter gameplay surprisingly enough. However, a lurking problem exists deep within the underbelly of the game itself.

To understand the underlying balance problem in Planetside, you must first know the basis of each faction's advantages and disadvantages. The Terran Republic has fast firing weapons all around, including chainguns mounted on damn near everything. The New Conglomerate has the hardest hitting weapons, meaning most of their guns do more damage per shot than either faction. The Vanu Sovereignty has versitility, including hover tanks and alien laser technology.

For geeks like me, the Vanu are the coolest faction ever. They've got kickass laser weapons, a killer hovertank, cool looking purple armor, and nice looking weapons. Unfortunately, the Vanu are the most blatantly underpowered faction in the game. Their weapons are practically useless most of the time, whether it's pathetically low damage on both their pistol and standard assault rifle, or sluggish blob projectiles on the heavier weapons that can easily be dodged by enemies. Though most of the weapons can switch firing modes to use armor piercing rounds, the difference in damage is negligable at best. The Magrider hover tank, though it has excellent mobility, can be shredded by heavy machine gun fire, not even mentioning what enemy tanks do to it. Basically, the way to think of the Vanu is "If you can hit them, you can kill them."

On another side of the triangle, you have the Terrans. The Terrans are neither massively over- or underpowered, but have some issues none the less. Terran players have a serious fetish with the Striker chaingun, and you'll find yourself facing dozens of chaingun-weilding assclowns every time you attack a Terran base. I wouldn't mind chaingun spamming if the chaingun weren't shot-for-shot as powerful, if not more powerful, than the NC's assault rifle (which is one of the best all around weapons in the game). How can something that fires 20 rounds per second kill you in three to five hits? Apart from the chaingun imbalance and whoring, the Terrans are fairly balanced all around, but that one nasty sore sticks out.

The third side of the triangle, and the lowest population on the Emerald server, is the New Conglomerate. The NC are the most blatantly dev-favored faction I've ever seen in my life. They have seven instakill weapons in their arsenal, and the rest of their weapons are definitely on the powerful side. Now, don't take that to mean they're OVERpowered, because they aren't. I think the NC's guns should be templates for all of the weapons. As strong as the NC are comparitively, they are the most fun to play as. Not necessarily because they've got the best weapons, but because the weapons look and feel like a lethal weapon rather than something that would leave a welt at worst.

Here's a comparison between my Vanu main character and my NC alternate:

| BR* | Kills | Deaths(approx) | Facility Hacks | Hours/Days
VS | 4 | 35 | 350 | 6 | ~20/7
NC | 8 | 70 | 125 | 12 | <10/3

*Battle rank, essentially the same as levelling in RPG's

Though the estimates for time aren't perfectly accurate, I can tell you I've roughly spent three times longer playing VS than NC, and I'm half as far in everything with nearly three times the deaths. The most important comparison here is of course, how much fun have I had playing each? That can be answered just by the numbers. The NC is extremely fun to play as because you don't die every few seconds, nor do you have to empty two clips of rifle ammo into an unarmored enemy to kill him.

There are a ton of other problems that aren't faction based as well, but I won't keep rambling. Just suffice to say that despite the large amount of imbalances in Planetside, the game itself is still fun and should certainly be checked out when it's made free to all in the near future.

On a lighter note, new version .730 of Mount and Blade is out. The long awaited seige combat, full city areas, some spiffy visual enhancements and a host of other changes await!

Nineteen ninety what?

2006-01-28T11:03:00.000-08:00

I've been playing a lot of Total Annihilation lately. I mean a *lot*. When I first got TA back in 1998, my PC could hardly run it and would literally take five minutes to load a large map. This is back in the days when we hardly had that Internet thing, so I didn't spend any time on multiplayer despite the game's large focus on enjoyable online games. A year or two later, this gem of finely crafted real-time strategy goodness was packed up and stored away to be dug up by a crazed fit of nostalgia.

It turns out that day was about two weeks ago, when I was rummaging around for games to throw on my laptop. Sure, I have HL2/CS Source/Gmod on there, and a couple other newer games, but most of those take so long to load it's time to stop playing when it finishes. I figured a good place to find a load-n-play game would be my old classics repository, and I was right. TA fit the bill perfectly; a classic RTS I can save/load whenever, and the whole game goes from startup to battle in about five seconds. I spent a few days hammering the AI in OTA (official or original TA) and realized just how bad Cavedog's AI was. From there, I went on a quest to find mods and AI files for TA to make my experience more fun.

Here's where the story gets really interesting. While surfing through dozens of sites dedicated to mods for the old game (which is one of the few, if not only RTS games with a still active mod community NINE YEARS after release) I kept hearing about this "Spring." What is this "Spring" these people speak of, I wondered? I decided to find out. Google lead me promptly to the home of the Swedish Yankspankers. Apparently the SYs are a well known group of modders for the original TA, as well as the developers of the best demo recording app out there for the game.

However, their talents were not limited to simply modifying the game, they teamed up to make TASpring. The closest thing to the resurrection of Christ himself is this game's reincarnation on a modern 3D engine. It may not be as flashy as Eyecandy at War, but it does a damn good job (in fact there's a nice Star Wars total conversion out for it as well). The full 3D engine isn't the only feature either; coupled with the spiffy graphics and four camera modes are the ability to directly control any unit or defensive structure FPS style, a wonderful terrain deformation system (that's right, you can blow holes in the ground) and an AI plugin system that allows you to swap around bot files. Did I mention the release comes with a handy multiplayer lobby client as well? You can also share a single team with multiple players, allowing each player to micromanage a certain part of the team's strategy. Comp stomping anyone?

TASpring propaganda aside, I've fallen practically in love with FLAC. You really don't notice the loss in quality that MP3 has until you compare the two yourself, which is exactly what I did. Any CD I borrow to rip will be compressed in FLAC, and if I ever buy a dedicated player it absolutely must include FLAC playback (only two players have it right now, the Rio Karma and Cowon X5). If you're a quality freak like I am, check out FLAC here.

In other news, about the same time I started binging on TA/Spring my dad started playing Endless mode on Bejeweled 2. As of now, he's on level 41 of 280. Go dad!

*Disclaimer: I am in no way affliated with, involved in development of, or hired to advertise the programs/codecs mentioned in the above post. I refer to these purely from personal experience and do so as a non-affiliated individual. Wow, that was redundant wasn't it? At least I'm not selling you anything.

Emo kids should play Bejeweled

2006-01-05T19:25:00.000-08:00

It's about time for another sideways look at the gaming world.

Have you ever played a game that single-handedly affected your self esteem? You know, those games that are so incredibly difficult that they make you feel inadequate because you can't win? How about those multiplayer ones where it seems every player you meet is a power-hungry vulture bent of shattering your fragile psyche? With the expanded horizons of gaming, and the unfortunate fact that it's fast becoming as sickly mainstream as having cereal for breakfast, the video game has actually had a lasting effect on our world's mind. I'm not talking about Jack Thompson-ish violence garbage, I mean real effects.

Think about it. If someone calls you a loser, you might have any number of reactions. Some may get really pissed and beat the hell out of the guy, which are the types that chuck the controller across the room. Some might just shrug it off or laugh at them, which are the types that simply adjust strategy and try again. But then there are the ones that take it to heart and add it to their mental list of faults, which are the kind that get so worried over a game they stop playing it ever again. Although I don't think a single game could really hurt a person's feelings permanently, the effects of feeling like you aren't good enough to win coupled with normal things like bullies, peer pressure, and other troubles of school life could add up to something very bad. I've been amazed how many emo kids play video games (not many of them have much taste in games either I might add), and what they play has likely toyed with their head just a little to help tip them into the grasp of a subculture. I guess my point here is far too many people take games to heart, and should actually hate the game, not the player. Don't let it transform you into an iPod toting, skintight jeans wearing MySpace hermit.

On the flipside of the downers, there has been an explosion recently of games that actually help your self-image. Since web-based games have become increasingly popular, especially among the casual surfing crowd, many "cute little puzzle games" have started doing more than burning time. Take one crack at Bejeweled 2 and you'll see what I mean. You're almost bombarded with compliments about your actions by a booming announcer voice: "Good!; Excellent!; Incredible!" It's a bit over the top and gets both old and annoying after awhile, but there are likely quite a few players out there that really need the morale boost. We're talking about people that do not, in their day to day life, recieve a single friendly compliment. In fact most high school kids don't even know how to accept a compliment properly. Recently the phrase "thank you" has been placed on the endangered species list.

So what's all this jabber mean? It means people can be psychologically affected in either direction by games, and this could essentially alter their daily life or even cause major changes in some extreme cases. Now that would be an interesting topic for Socialology class.

Mmm...grape jelly.

2005-12-24T08:42:00.000-08:00

In today's world of increasingly flashy, jaw-dropping graphics and a real push for realism, lots of important-sounding technologies are being created that most end-users don't know or really care about. One of the biggest trends right now is texture mapping, the process where big companies avoid hiring more 3D modellers to get that nice look of depth on everything. Using fewer models generally boosts your framerate as well, which everyone is always looking for of course. The industry's name of the month right now is Parallax mapping.

Parallax mapping isn't the most amazing concept ever, though it's only now finding a place outside of high-end professional rendering. I took a few minutes to look it up on Wikipedia, and realized the cool 3D effect it pulls off is really elementary in theory. As described by the info page, it's an alternative to normal mapping while faking the effect of displacing coordinates entirely. So what you get is a psuedo-3D look that, when employed correctly, results in an image you pretty much can't tell isn't really 3D.

Only sometimes it doesn't quite work. Right now, the game engine that really shows off parallax mapping is Monolith's Jupiter EX engine, which powers FEAR and the previously reviewed Condemned. Parallax mapping on player and enemy models gives excellent depth to materials in clothing and facial features like wrinkles, whereas the same mapping on decals like bullet holes gives off the illusion the hole actually exists. However parallax mapping is used on other, less talked about parts of the environment too. If you look at the blood decals in either game mentioned above, you'll wonder whether or not it's blood or grape jelly.

Moral of the story? Fancy technologies usually aren't as complex as they seem, and aren't always used the way they should. That, and don't eat the grape jelly splattered on the wall.

Rant mode activated

2005-12-18T14:09:00.000-08:00

What do you get when you take a bunch of idiots that can't dance, a performer that can neither sing nor write lyrics, and a bunch of flashing lights? Spike TV's "Video Game Awards" in a nutshell. Sure they talk about games in between mesmerizing the peanut gallery with shiny things, but mostly it was one bad performance, then commercials, and another bad performance. I haven't seen such a terrible wad of crap on the telly since MTV did the halftime show at the Super Bowl.

It's a sad day when gaming has become mainstream enough to merit another meaningless award show to pal around with G4's craptastic gamer-poserfest. At least G4 has something interesting on the channel once in a while, like Cinematech; SpikeTV has reruns of Star Trek, that's it. Stop disgracing video games with your horrible awards people, the real gamers out there don't want to hear how many fanboys voted Madden as "Best Sports Game." The most infuriating award had to be Game of the Year, though. Among FEAR, Call of Duty 2, World of Warcraft (which came out last year didn't it?), and Resident Evil 4, guess which one won?

There are three reasons why the award show was complete garbage (or three I've seen anyway). One, it was funded by Sony. Two, Spike was paid by game companies to give awards to the "winners." As conspiratorial as it sounds, I wouldn't doubt it for a second considering the backwater channel it's aired on. Finally, people are just total idiots. This theory seems most likely considering the number of fanatical fans games have these days. No matter what the case, these "awards" are simply just another badge for multi-billion dollar corporations to pin on their star franchises. Oh look, Madden won another "Best Sports Game," let's pin it up right next to the other ones. Looks like it's time to make another giant ad campaign to shove this meaningless award in potential suckers (read: customers) faces!

Is EA or any other major corporation stupid for doing this? No, of course not. It's the fools that fall for it that are to blame for the future downfall of true videogaming.

Oh and on a lighter note...If you haven't played Darwinia, do so. Now. I hate to pile on praises for a game alongside the rest of the world but it's worthy. Also, my review of FEAR was posted on D-Pad last week. Check it out and get the site some more exposure!

Random question

2005-12-03T13:55:00.000-08:00

Moving away from my current review spree for the X360, I've got a question I'd like feedback on. For the two or three people that read this blog, whether you play Half Life 2 or not, I want your opinion here...

Which would you rather see a map of?

A) A big, creepy mansion. (Resident Evil 1, Rose Red)
B) An abandoned fancy hotel. (The Shining's "Overlook")
C) Something else suitably creepy and able to support scripted events and/or zombies.

Comments! Post! Now!

Edit: Oh yes, and...
GG Sony! http://www.secondaryscreening.net/static/archives/2005/11/index.html

You can discuss that, too.

It even includes the Batmobile

2005-11-25T21:10:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know I'm late getting this review out, but it's been a really irritating day. Actually it was a great day until about two hours ago, and then it went to hell. I had the entire day off to myself, and did nothing but play Gotham and Condemned, trying to increase my Gamer Score by getting Achievements in the games. Today I had managed to rack up my score to a grand total of 900 points, with some cool things including owning every Ferarri and Lamborghini in Gotham, and beating one ending of Condemned (there are more endings!).

Now, note the wording: I HAD managed. I say that because everything I did today is now gone. Wiped out, done for, nada, erased. Why, oh why? I signed up for Xbox Live, that's why. I went through an hour of annoying signup procedure to get my free month of Gold level membership (I'm "Apex001" by the way), had to fight the age verification and go through basically a second signup to put in my dad's information, only to have it overwrite my offline account and all of its stats.

BE WARNED: XBOX LIVE ACCOUNTS WILL OVERWRITE YOUR CURRENTLY ACTIVE OFFLINE ACCOUNT!

So anyway, I guess I'll have to go through Condemned again to catch the other ending(s), and win all of the tourneys in Gotham a second time through with different cars or something. Oh well, all is not lost. I should hopefully get Perfect Dark Zero soon.

Enough rant, on to the review!

Project Gotham Racing 3

By now you must be wondering where exactly the title of this post comes into play. Well, first of all, this game is one of those few times in history where a game meets the buzz head on, and then some. Gotham is a fantastic racing game that's neither extremely realistic nor extremely arcadey. While not boasting an excessive amount of licensed cars in it, the ones there are more than enough to suit your wants and needs. If you want more than Ferarri, Lamborghini, Maserati and quite a few other international supercar makers, then I can't help you. The title refers to a Panoz racecar in the game, where the description panel says, paraphrased, this car's nickname is "the Batmobile".

The main selling point of PGR3 is of course the graphics, which needless to say if you have seen any screenshots or trailers of it, are stupendous for a launch title. While no titles will be utilizing the full three cores of the system's main CPU until Gears of War comes out in February, Gotham does a fine job of showing what even one core can do. The models have polycounts with more figures than a CEO's salary, a fantastic motion blur effect is in there, and full use of the HDR lighting technology is there too. All you have to do is take a stroll through your garage and gander at your ride to be amazed by the visual quality. As if the cars weren't enough detail to make your head spin, the tracks are absolutely gorgeous as well, especially my personal favorite Nurburgring. Of all the launch titles, Gotham is the real visual showcase, and it does really need to be seen to believed.

One of the areas I think the game excels in is the controls and mechanics of the racing itself. While not strictly a simulation, but far too realistic to be an arcade racer, Gotham finds a happy medium between the two, and delivers a solid racing experience for everyone. While the physics will keep most realism addicts at bay, you can show off a bit as well with flashy drifts and spins. In fact a main focal point to the solo career mode is getting Kudos points, which you gather by showing off your skills in getting the car sideways, among other things. Speaking of modes, both the online and solo career modes feature a miriad of different race types. You'll encounter standard street racing, elimination and time trials, but also style races such as drift challenges and cone gate. In general the style races tend to be short and involve alot of finesse work on the track, whereas the normal timed and street modes are flat out racing against something, be it the clock or an opponent. The controls are comfortable, and the change from the traditional face button gas and brake to the more precise pressure-sensitive triggers is a welcome one. A really interesting feature is the ability to look around your car, or the interior cockpit if you drive in-car like I do, by using the right stick. What really makes that useful is inside the car, where you can glance at side mirrors (assuming you haven't messed them up by hitting things) or your rearview mirror to get a look at your competition. You can also use this to explore the finely detailed interior, including functional gauges, which also illuminate during night races.

The one feature I haven't had the chance to try out yet, since I've been battling with the Live signup procedure, is GothamTV. By the sounds of it, this mode will allow you, via Live, to watch other racers go at it remotely, just like you would watch a race on the telly. You get two options on the menu, view a friend or the world's best (which if you get featured on gives you a hefty Gamer Point bonus Achievement). Other than that, I'll give you an update when I do try it out.

A thing that always irritated me about many racing games in past was poor engine sounds. I really hate it when a classic muscle car sounds like a whiney import, or when it seems most of the cars sound the same. Luckily for me, and probably alot of people like me, Gotham's sound design is great. Every engine sound in the game was custom recorded from the real car, or so Microsoft says. I'd be willing to believe that, as I have yet to hear two different cars with the same sound to them. The variety and accuracy of the engine sounds really helps add to that simulation feeling, even if the gameplay is a bit more forgiving than a true sim. The rest of the sound is great too, from tire screeches to bumps, scrapes, and slams. I can't say much for the soundtrack though, because I muted the music right off the bat and played my own MP3's from my SD card instead.

Other notable features include a nice but not outstanding splitscreen multiplayer (though you can add computer bots to the race, which is cool), and an online career mode in which you compete with others around the world for top-10 ranking spots. I probably won't be frequenting that very often, I'm definitely not among the world's best.

Graphics: 10/10 - For a launch title, PGR3 is jaw dropping.
Gameplay: 8/10 - Good blend of real and arcade, nice controls, but not much variety.
Sound: 9/10 - Great engine sounds, overall on-track effects are good.
Replay/Multiplayer: 8/10 - Definitely a popular Live game, not much replay on solo though.

Overall: 9/10 - This is both a damn good racing game and an excellent launch title. Buy! Now!

note: This was written late at night and may contain bad grammar and/or spelling errors. Get over it, I'm human too.

I hate nay-sayers

2005-11-24T09:18:00.000-08:00

http://www.twistedpolygon.net/content/view/84/48

"Widespread reports of overheating."

" getting your 360: $400
xboxlive for 12 months:$69.99
finding out bill gates just screwed you: priceless
lmao!"

"told ya ms sucks lol oh yeah ps3 gonna kill em on this lol i cant wait to se this i hate microsoft but i still gone use windows lol good lock lol"

I have two things to say about the link and quotes listed above:

1) You people are idiots.
2) You people have no idea what you're talking about.

This little panic goes to show exactly how idiotic people in general are, and how quickly the fanboys of the opposing side are to jump on the smallest piece of bad news and inflate it to incredible size. Yes the console spews heat, it's an immensely powerful box. If these people had a brain in their skull they wouldn't have crammed the console into a tiny entertainment center where the heat can't escape. One of the first things I did as an XBOX 360 owner was clear off my coffee table of anything behind the system to ensure it wouldn't overheat.

As for the moronic quotes, if the language and lack of grammar there don't tell you how stupid Sony fanboys are, the fact they've pounced on a single sliver of possibility that the system may have a flaw should. Stupid owners do not mean the hardware is bad. You people should be beaten within an inch of your life for assuming something blindly to put down a system you don't like.

Rant over, expect my Project Gotham 3 review tomorrow.

Criminally Original

2005-11-23T18:14:00.000-08:00

As the third part of my week-long Xbox 360 reviewfest, I present you Condemned: Criminal Origins. Monolith's horror/thriller/first person shooter/first person melee action title is chock full of violence so sickening it's like a train wreck; it's hideous but you just can't stop watching (or in this case, playing).

Condemned: Criminal Origins

When I went to Electronics Boutique last Friday to pick up a few games before launch day, Condemned was actually not even on the list. While I had heard alot about it and seen some screenshots that really didn't reveal anything of the game's style (except it involved not-so-modest amounts of gore), my top three were Gotham, Madden (for my dad) and Perfect Dark Zero. Unfortunately EB was at the time sold out of PD:Zero, so I decided to pick up this somewhat interesting sounding game made by the great Monolith (of recent FEAR fame, a game that tops my list of all time FPS's). It's a good thing I did, because I've spent a ton of time on it the last two days.

Personal story of near-tragedy aside, Condemned is as much an experience as a game, just like Monolith's other blockbuster. The sense of first-person immersion in the world is incredible, as everything you do - from climbing ladders to headbutting a dazed opponent - is done from the eyes of your character Ethan Thomas. Remember that, because it will be mentioned again later.

The first thing you'll notice when you load up Condemned is it forces widescreen display, no matter what the aspect ratio of your TV or system is set to. This annoys me a bit as I have a 4:3 ratio HDTV that's a few years old (though it still runs 1080i very well), so I have the dreaded black bars bounding the top and bottom. I've grown used to this a bit, since just as in FEAR the cutscenes are all realtime game footage, so the widescreen play makes it feel a bit like an interactive horror movie. Keeping on the subject of visuals, the realtime cutscenes are excellent because this game is simply beautiful, in a real-world, gritty way. Running on the same graphics engine as FEAR with optimizations and additions for the new platform, you'll be able to see every detail on every object. You can read fine print on signs and other wall-plastered text, which is a testament to how high-resolution the textures are. The models are clean, lifelike, and well animated, bringing everyone to life in a whole new level ranging from your not-so-athletic sidekick Rosa to the psychopathic enemies trying to separate your head from your shoulders. The gritty realism is not for the feint of heart though, as liberal amounts of gore along with some gruesome violence (explained later) are both constant companions throughout the game.

I mentioned in the hardware review that the controllers are great, and this game will make you thankful they are. The smartly laid out controls (though fully customizable as well) are pretty easy to learn, letting you go through a short story segment-plus-tutorial in a flash and hop into some action within about ten minutes of starting the game. You'll need to tweak stick sensitivity though, it's pretty steep at first. Other than a couple of nuances (I always slip and hit the left bumper instead of trigger) the controls are good.

Along with the controls of course comes the heart of the game, the combat. Most of the time you'll be toting around one of who knows how many makeshift melee weapons you can find in any given level. There are three kinds of weapons. Debris weapons, are extremely common and range from nail-filled boards to locker doors, pipes, and more. These all have their advantages and disadvantages in range, speed, blocking power and attack power, and you can compare them with a small display in the top right corner when you go to pick one up. The second type are Entry weapons, which, as the name implies, are normally used for tasks including popping locks, chopping down doors or levering open gates. You won't find as many entry weapons though, and they only come in four flavors (sledgehammer, crowbar, shovel and fire axe). Normally you'll have to hunt down an Entry weapon to get something done in a level or advance, and often you may overlook the weapon sitting right under your nose*. The third, rarest and probably most interesting are of course Firearms. You won't come across many guns laying about, and there's no extra ammo in the dingy city underworld, so neither the manual nor I can stress how crucial saving ammo is. You're better off stealing a gun from a dead or stunned enemy than tracking one down, though chances are you won't get a full magazine. Aside from your preferred method of pummeling or puncturing, you have a Tazer (set to stun of course) and a kick attack, both of which you'll find very entertaining and useful in the thick of combat. Stunning an enemy with the Tazer will keep a gun-weilding foe from blasting you with his peice, while also allowing you to swipe it from him and give him his own medicine. When no one's taking potshots at you, you'll get a crash course in blocking effectively, because if you don't you're going to die faster than an American Idol winner's career.

Between fencing psychos with pipes or giving them some voltage, you'll gather clues to aid in completing the twisting, turning and very movie-worthy storyline. Though this feature is a bit linear in its use, it's rather fun and often gives you a break from the fray to catch your breath and use a medkit. Some of the effects are rather cool too, like the blacklight to find blood stains. Back to the storyline, it starts rather slow but picks up quickly and veers from generic to extremely interesting and strange as you go. It will both confuse you and suck you in, but for better or worse, it's definitely a good thriller plot.

I almost forgot to mention the astounding sound design in this game. You'll find yourself listening intently to any and all sounds around you in every room throughout the game. Not only can you hear the shuffle of feet, grunts and sounds of things being knocked around, but you can also hear even the subtle hoarse rasping of their breath. You can hear scuffles between enemies long before you see them, which gives you plenty of time (usually anyway) to plan your strategy. This game's incredible, consuming atmosphere is completed by the great sounds that do alot more than go bump in the night.

Underneath all of that combat there are two things at work you may not notice right away. One is the improved Havok 3.0 physics engine, which you'll quickly take notice of if someone pegs you in the face with something, or throws a chair down a stairwell at you. The ragdolls are as close to perfect as you can get, and though occasionally a strange sliding ragdoll bug occurs, it is not common. The other under appreciated layer of detail is the excellent AI system for the enemies. Built off of the same AI that had you thinking you were fighting humans and not bots in FEAR, the system has had nothing but improvements since its debut. The enemies are mostly crazed berserkers, and therefore they are very unpredictable. I love the AI and it's damn scary at times.

All in all, the game has a great atmosphere that sucks you in and immerses you in an insane horror world where paranoia runs as rampant as the psychotic enemies that stalk you. The unique evidence finding system, while linear in use, is still something different and fun to use. The combat is solid, simple, yet tough to master, and not made any easier by the intelligent-yet-unpredictable AI. Last but not least, the graphics are excellent, gritty, and not for those who become queasy.

Graphics: 9/10 - Excellent, but a bit *too* gruesome for many.
Presentation: 9/10 - Only available in widescreen, but otherwise it's great.
Sound: 10/10 - Did I just hear something in the other room?
Replay: 8/10 - Though it's a bit short, there are lots of unlockables and XBOX 360 Achievements to get.

Overall (not an average): 9/10 - Gritty, gruesome, and gorgeous.

Stick around for my third review tomorrow, the highly touted and anticipated Project Gotham Racing 3. Or you can not bother reading it and plan on buying it, because you probably know it's good already.

In other news, NBA 2K6 and Perfect Dark Zero should be arriving in the mail sometime around Monday, so if these three reviews go over well you can expect reviews of those two as well.

Improving by removing

2005-11-23T17:00:00.000-08:00

As part two of my long-winded review of the Xbox 360, I'll be going over each of the three titles I got at launch for the system over the next three days: Project Gotham Racing 3, Condemned: Criminal Origins, and Madden 2006. I decided to start with the worst, so if you don't want to hear another word about American football or EA's monopoly, stop reading and wait for tomorrow. Otherwise, here's my review of Madden NFL 2006 for the Xbox 360...

Madden 2006

There aren't many times in the gaming world where taking features out of a game makes it better, but somehow with the excessively bloated and useless features in Madden this makes perfect sense. Far from the enormous heap of gimmick that the other consoles have, Madden on the 360 is relatively spry. Gone are the idiotic radio show, pointless mini-camps and lame Madden/Summeral commentary (though that could have stayed for comedic value...BOOM!), and the game proper has been reduced to quick play and franchise modes only. However in the process of removing every possible feature to rush the release, they did take out things that would be rather nice. All customization and individualism has been removed aside from soundtrack playlists, and that includes Create-A-Player and Team. You also can't challenge calls anymore, nor can you play cooperatively with more than one player per team. The former isn't too bad, but the latter is a killer for someone who is surrounded by football fans like myself, who gets dragged into playing often. Now all I can do is watch really, but it just so happens that isn't a terrible thing.

If there's anywhere Madden excels on the new console it's the completely scratch-made graphics engine. For the first time...well, since the PS2 was launched...EA actually made improvements to the game's graphics. Now you really can't say the graphics suck, because they're very well done, even for EA, great provayor of craptacular graphics (don't try to argue EA fanboys, the graphics on every EA game up to now have been outdone by Sega and Take-Two. In fact if you compare the 360's sports games they're outdone as well. NBA 2K6 makes EA's NBA Live look like last generation's). The polycounts are high, the shaders and reflections are shiny and reflective as ever, and best of all, I think, are the persistent uniforms. Thoughout the game, players' uniforms will be stained, helmets will be scratched, and sometimes turf will be lodged in your facemask. On top of that the players' faces are modelled in almost mugshot-perfect ugliness, down to Michael Strahan's tooth gap. However, with all the graphical neatness there are some irritating animation problems to offset it. While many, maybe even most of the animations in the game are by themselves pretty smooth and accurate, they often don't string together well and you constantly see teleporting players, or a magically rotating ball fitting into a reciever's hands. The biggest problem I have with the animations is that none of the players' individual personality is shown by the facial animations. Every player in the game is apparently chronically depressed, bipolar and has lockjaw, unless of course they're chewing cud (read: talking to each other). Excessively happy players like Hines Ward just don't seem right without the personality that make them revered on the field. Oh yeah, and Polamalu doesn't have the dreads! Damn you EA, give Troy the dreads!

I really shouldn't spend much time talking about the gameplay, because unfortunately, aside from the removal of useless garbage, the gameplay hasn't changed much from the last generation. Though EA had the presence to take out mini-camps, they left in crap like the "Hit Stick" (read: Gimmick Stick) and the offensive equivalent with almost the same name. Though the controls are responsive, the mediocre physics are still there, allowing you to turn on a dime and defy the laws of motion. For all those who bitched about the "QB Vision" feature, it's still there, but by the looks of it you won't need it anyway. In the two games I've played on Pro difficulty I've been 24 of 26 for 384 yards and no interceptions, while never using the vision thing one time. Even on higher difficulties the AI isn't very good, though their quarterback seems to hold his own no matter if the rest of the team sucks.

Madden doesn't kick off the next generation, it more or less stumbles into it with a limp. The game was obviously rushed into circulation, but despite that is still a relatively fun football experience for fans of the sport. While trimming the excess feature fat was a good idea, taking out some of the more useful parts of the game in the process wasn't.

Graphics: 9/10 - They're solid, with all kinds of this-generation goodness.
Presentation: 8/10 - Clean, easy menus that aren't that bad looking.
Sound: 6/10 - Nice sound effects on the field, but the mediocre soundtrack and lack of commentary hurt it.
Quality/Replay Value: 5/10 - It's just another sports game, all your replay encompasses is 30 years of franchise mode. No custom teams or players to play with either.

Overall (Not an average): 6/10 - The good sound effects and visuals save it from a very, very bad rating.

That's all for today kids, tune in tomorrow for Apex's review of Condemned: Criminal Origins, with Project Gotham 3 on Friday!

And so it begins...

2005-11-22T19:20:00.000-08:00

The next generation of console gaming. Supposedly the generation where playing games on consoles is actually considered "gaming", rather than a bunch of unruly teenagers rampaging about mindless titles. This is finally the generation when a console's hardware can actually rival (or in this case, surpass) a PC's hardware for a fraction of the price. But the question remains...is it really worth it?

The first thing I'll say is anyone that says the XBox 360 doesn't live up to "the hype" is a total assclown. The second thing I'll say is anyone that whines about it being "too expensive" is also a total assclown. "The hype" is Sony feeding the public (read: mindless sheep) fake, pre-rendered trailers and speculation to how their system will "outperform" the rest. "Too expensive" means you know nothing about the hardware, its capabilities, or how much an equivalent PC would cost. No one is forcing you to buy the damn thing, so stop complaining about the price, which is more than a good deal.

Rant aside, I have too many good things to say about this system to cover in one post, unless it were to span the geometric surface area of the planet Earth. With so much to cover and such a long break ahead of me, I'll be breaking down each part of the review into separate posts. I'll start right now with the system itself, the controllers, and the interface, then move onto the really flashy, gamey stuff down the line.

The Hardware

The first thing I noticed while lugging the fairly weighty package from my local store this morning was it's not a flimsy system. Though not nearly as imposing as its predecessor, the 360 is still a well built, chunky system that you need not worry about failing on a daily basis. When I finally wrestled it out of the packaging, I was pleasantly surprised how sleek the system was. Being both a stark white color and having a nicely curvy design, the case itself is certainly a fine centerpiece for any coffee table. My one gripe here is the elegant design of the system is put off a bit by the *massive* power supply. Understandibly, the powerful tri-core CPU and custom graphics processor require a lot of power, but it really is enormous.

That aside, the rest is all good news. The ports are all nicely placed, including the two USB2.0 ports hidden by the faceplate to the right. While the system *looks* beautiful on the outside, it does make quite a bit of noise while it's working. Granted you'll probably be soaking in a game, drowning out the hum of the system proper, it's quite noticable in a quiet room.

The so-called "Circle of Light" is both pleasing to the eye and useful, showing how many controllers are plugged in, and to which ports. This is especially useful with wireless controllers, as the LED on both the system and controller match to which port it's assigned to. Rumors say the light may possibly find a use in other ways during games, but I doubt it. It's just fine the way it is.

While on the subject of controllers, I can't say enough about how great the 360's controllers are. Slightly larger than the original S-Type design, but greatly smaller than the original clunkers, the form and layout is a perfect blend. It fits comfortably in your mits for the most part, the only real hassle being the rare instance you'll need to use the trigger and shoulder button at the same time. The controllers are tough, heavy-gauge plastic made to take all the tosses and drops you can dish out. The handy "Live" button (as I like to call it. It's the big 360 logo in the middle) is a great addition, as is the Dashboard, discussed later. Setting up the wireless controllers was a snap: the process involved holding one button for about one second, then tapping a tiny connect button on top, followed shortly by a notification the connection was established. Tough, comfy, easy to use; all of those perfectly sum up the new controllers.

Once you fire up the system and make your way through the standard setup procedure, you'll be met with an interesting main screen. You'll notice four tabs there, each a section of your 360's features: Xbox Live, Games, Music and Media, and System Utilities. The menus are clean, concise, and easy as cake to navigate. Even better than that is the Dashboard menu, which can be accessed by hitting the Live button. This excellent feature allows you to sign on gamer tags on a per-controller basis, edit your profile, and even play music in the background all through a quick-access menu. If you're playing online you can check your Friends list and Messages as well. This is one of my favorite features in the entire package.

That's about it for the hardware and interface. If I missed anything you'd like details about post a comment and I'll edit it whatever you like.

Path of Neo, game of the year?

2005-11-16T19:22:00.000-08:00

Alright, if the title of this post alone didn't make you crack up, nothing will. I'll sum up this..."game"...with three words: Crimes. Against. Intelligence.

You see, the Matrix series has a long, prosperous history of excellent videogames. I'm still not sure how Enter the Matrix slipped past Best Non-Movie-Game-Adaptation, but somehow it did. Then came Matrix Online, which was so engrossing it puts even World of Warcraft to shame...

Who am I kidding? Matrix games suck harder than an eight pound Orec XL. Even that short bald guy that advertizes those vacuums on the TV would bow to the supreme suckitude of Matrix games. But just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...THIS comes along.

The developers, "SHINY Entertainment", did a great job in living up to their namesake. In fact, it's simply astounding how they could "polish" a complete piece of shit to be so SHINY it blinds people into buying it. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE THINKING?! Are you fucktards into mental BDSM or something? Not even a communist worker would beg for this kind of punishment. This game is a full frontal assault on all your senses, from the abhorrently terrible graphics, to the craptastic, linear, and idiotically pointless gameplay, to the horridly dubbed voiceovers, you get hit from all sides.

I swear to god if I had to sit through one more badly arranged, badly compressed movie-footage cutscene put to the worst wannabe-trance music in the history of mankind I WILL GO BALLISTIC. Thank god I only downloaded it to see just how bad it would be, expecting it to be just above the other two games, sitting right at the "So bad it's hilarious" level on the quality continuum. This isn't even worth spending the small electrical charges spent in your brain to THINK about playing it. I'm just going to stop there, I can't bring myself to relay that story of grotesque brain cell slaughter.

So you want a rating out of ten? How about 1.0x10^(-40) out of ten? I don't think there's a negetive number in mathmatical existence low enough to categorize this lack of quality.

Oh and on a lighter note, I've only got five more days to wait until I get my Xbox 360 (I hope, those shortages for the shipments are a bit worrying). The problem is they'll be the longest five days of the damn year.

Stupidity in motion

2005-10-18T20:11:00.000-07:00

As you may know, it is widely believed that human idiocy is caused by one of two things: lack of brain function or a disease of the genus Stupidica Fucktardica. We here at Apex Industries have been studying this phenomenon (herein identified solely as "stupidity") for many years, learning from the worst, dullest idiots out there (henceforth known as "Pennsylvania") to bring you the latest breakthroughs in the realm of Idiotic Science. The latest discovery is most intriguing.

Apex Industries (herein referred to in the first person) is located squarely in the heart of southern Pennsylvania, USA. Much like southern California is referred to as "Silicon Valley" due to its high amounts of computer industry, Pennsylvania is known as "Retard Valley" for a similar reason. People from a certain, annonymous county, located between Adams and Lancaster counties, has an amazingly high yield of idiots living there. Just as birds gather in flocks and cattle gather in herds, people in this area gather into subcultures and stereotypes. That bit of geographical background aside...

I have discovered what I like to call the Laws of Stupidity. Newton had his laws for gravity and motion, I have mine as well. So, I now present to you Apex's Laws of Stupidity:

Law 1: Stupidity in motion stays in motion until acted upon by an outside force. This works very similarly to Newton's first law of motion. Basically, if an idiot does something stupid, he/she will continue to do it or other stupid things until someone prevents it. Whether it be a verbal reprimand or a firm smack, something must be done to prevent the continuation of moving stupidity.

Law 2: The relationship between a person's initial stupidity s, their stupidity modifier (such as a subculture or reasoning for doing an act of stupidity) m, and their total, or sum, stupidity T is T=sm. This law of stupidity states that a person's stupidity can compound itself over time, and once steered toward stupidity, that person will continue along that path indefinitely unless the first law is called into play.

Law 3: For every stupid action, there is an offsetting, more intelligent action. Though it may seem as though intelligence rarely ripostes a stupid action, the reaction need not be immediate as in the world of physics. In bolder terms, it will "come back to bite you in the ass", so to speak.

This message brought to you by Apex Industries, leader at the forefront of research into why people are so god damned stupid. Thank you, and join us next week for more journeys into the world of science!

It's all about Chi power...

2005-10-07T21:31:00.000-07:00

I've been keeping my eye on Ragdoll Kung Fu since it's E3 preview, and I'm not alone. Pretty much everyone in the gaming world that uses Steam (meaning everyone who has Half Life 2) has been keeping track of this oddball game, which is being made available through Steam but has no affiliation with Valve or the Source engine. This means it's the first of its kind, a third party title distributed through Valve's system...and it probably won't be the last.

Before I veer away from the point of this post and dive into the growing trend of electronically distributed games, some info on RDKF would be nice, wouldn't it? Simply put, this game is the most original game idea since Katamari Damacy. You move your character (who can be customized and modded with skins) by clicking and dragging his/her limbs. You jump not by hitting spacebar, but by grabbing any limb (head works best though) and flinging your guy through the air in an incredibly entertaining fashion. While this system takes some getting used to, as does the combat explained later, once you do your mouse weilding skills will increase tenfold and you'll be the Bruce Lee of ragdolls.

Don't quite get it? Don't worry, it definitely doesn't make sense, but it's fun none the less. The dragging system works similarly to the ragdoll posing in Garry's Mod, but without the need to freeze limbs in place. It's smooth and humorous to boot.

Moving on, that's the general idea, but stopping there doesn't even stratch the surface of the game proper. Stop here if you want the terse part, keep going if you want the big meaty review of the wackiest fighting game to date...

The real fun begins when you get into the combat of the game. While movement is done using the left mouse button, attacks are done using the right. Right clicking will automatically choose the closest limb to the mouse and thrust it toward the target upon releasing the button. This means you can punch, kick, or headbutt your opponent any way you like, including in midair. Fights become literally laugh-out-loud funny, and you'll constantly find youself trying to outdo your last insane move.

Attacking is fun of course, but you can defend yourself as well, and the method is simple. Just position your character's hands in front of him in a block position. Seriously, that's all you need to do. When an enemy attack hits your guy's hand it will block it automatically. You can also actively block by dragging a hand into the path of an attack. Not as exciting as crazy moves, but helpful none the less.

Weapons are also an interesting and fun part of your kung fu fighting experience. You'll nab your first pair of nunchucks at the end of the first tutorial level (about where I failed to get the required 10,000 points...bah!) and might be so swing-happy with them you forget to finish the objective. All you need to do to slash/swing your way to victory is grab the weapon with a hand and throw some loops with the mouse, the physics engine will do the rest.

Speaking of physics, while this game wasn't made on the Source engine, and subsequently its Havok physics, it does a great job of making you think it was. The physics are great, and true to its crazy Kung Fu wire-fighting origins. You'll always land on your feet, or at least somehow contort onto them when you slam into the ground. The stretching and pulling of limbs has a refreshingly comedic look, and upon release will snap back like a coiled spring. The physics are entertaining to say the least.

So, what's left? Ah, the visuals. First of all the graphics are brilliantly outrageous, offering character choices ranging from a raspberry-giving ninja to a comic book character gone bad. Top that with mixing and matching of half a dozen parts and your possibilities are endless. The backgrounds, arenas and the like are top notch, offering great oriental style and multiple teirs to check out. The video is hilarious, and the haphazard group that made the cutscenes should be nominated for an indie film award. Their blatantly outlandish style that takes Kung Fu flicks to the extreme, complete with bad lip synching and chittery not-quite-Chinese voices will have you chuckling all the way through the game. The only problem I have here is the intro video actually plays while the game loads, which causes it to play at about 5 frames per second or so, though that might be due to my laptop only having 128MB of video memory.

The only other topic left is multiplayer, which is something I've not toyed with much. You start with a vanilla deathmatch mode, some levels to fight in, various options, and the ability to add up to 7 AI opponents of varying toughness. There are four modes total, but the other three are locked from the start, so you'll need to beat a few story levels to unlock them. You can create your own character for online play the same as single player, and import a custom skin as well, which will be visible to all players in the game. Note that attempting to cheat by making an invisible skin will result in a character wrapped in police tape. Busted.

Fear Apex the pwn*

So what's the verdict? While the learning curve is a bit steep, the tutorial is great, and you can always poke around against a weak level AI opponent in deathmatch mode. The visuals, sound and overall presentation are excellent, giving the game a wonderfully refreshing over the top feel games seem to lack these days. If you're the kind of gamer to try the unique, strange and wild, go for it. This game is a must have.

Bandwidth Nazis strike again!

2005-10-05T13:53:00.000-07:00

Alright, for those that haven't been lurking on #zodiacgamer, you probably don't know the premise to this rant. My school recently installed two Netgear wireless routers, one in the CISCO/C++ computer lab, and the other in my history class. Now, for a week or so it was hunky-dory, no one bothered to ask if I was even using it, which I wasn't save one day out of seven. However they've tightened the networking noose this week and I'm pissed about it.

Now, before you jump to saying "it's their bandwidth!!!", yes it is. Though they barely scratch the surface of how much bandwidth they get on their T3 line, and one person using it for general internet browsing maybe a total of an hour a day won't hike the cost up any, that's not what ticks me off. It's how they went about telling me I can't use their network.

Rather than simply saying "hey, that bandwidth costs money, could you stop," an email was dispatched to every teacher in the school about "unsolicited use of the school's network" telling them to "be on the watch for suspicious usage of electronic devices during school hours." So, what's that mean? It means in every single class all day, I was picked from the group, called to the teacher's desk, and interrogated about the use of my laptop. I was under more scrutiny than an Arab man in an airport. I was actually threatened by the network admin that if he ever finds out I'm using their network I'll be "in serious trouble". Basically I had to endure six classes of "it's the kid with the laptop, he must be the one using the network!". For an administration so keen to advocate dispelling stereotypes, they sure are doing a dandy job of following them.

Sorry guys, but I'm not the geek you're looking for. I know for a fact of three people who have used the school's WiFi on their PSP to play online, and regularly at that. Ever stop to think there are other things capable of using your holy bandwidth besides my laptop? Of course not, jumping to conclusions is something the school system is great at, just ask any kid who had to defend himself against a bully and landed a three day suspension for fighting.

My last point here is their reasoning for doing it. While I understand it's their bandwidth, and they pay for it, they're getting overly paranoid about it. Just ask me nicely, I'll remove your network from my list, and we can all get along. Hell, even if they just plain MAC filtered the routers and locked me out I wouldn't mind all that much. You need to go through their incredibly tight-assed proxy anyway, it's not like I could do anything useful on the network, none the less anything illicit.

Glad I got that off my chest. Now to plan my non-violent, non-destructive revenge. Suggestions are welcome.

Cheap plastic sunglass inserts

2005-09-20T15:06:00.000-07:00

I just got back from having my eyes beaten to a pulp at the eye doctor. People always say they hate the dentist, but I'm not so sure I'd rather have my peepers poked at. While the dialation drops wear off, I'll take the time to snap off a little rant about people and the workplace.

Working in an office, wether it be a physician's, a dentist's or anything else, has to suck. Having to attend to bitchy, hypochondriatic geezers and fidgety little kids isn't my idea of an ideal workplace. I give my utmost respect to the souls who have to go through that, and try my best to lighten the mood and kid with whoever is doing the prodding.

I have noticed recently however that the workers themselves are trying to lighten the mood and kid with whoever they're prodding. A support phone call recently yeilded a humorous insight into how cable companies activate your modem (they send secret nanites you know), and today the attendant torturing my eyes had a bit of fun with me as well. Most people keep you talking so when they do that little air puff crap you don't close your eye and mess it up. This guy was good though, he fidgeted with the machine on top of that, and I never saw it coming. He topped it off with a joking "Gotcha!" as well.

Alot of people get offended or angry at this type of behavior, and I have no idea why. The only reason I don't dread going to a doctor of any sort is they do their best to keep you in a comfortable mindset, or at least as much as possible. Also remember they're doing it for their own sanity as well, because a monotonous job really blows if you can't have at least a little fun once in a while. I wish more people would be like that. Stop the mundane, generalized chit chat and do something spontaneous!

So here's to you, guy at the eye doctor. You made my day.

Just let me play!

2005-09-16T12:34:00.000-07:00

You know, I recently played the demo of F.E.A.R. No, this isn't a long winded hands-on preview, or anything about the game except for one thing that irritates me about quite a few games: cutscenes you can't skip. Don't get me wrong, I love a good cutscene, but when you die and have to watch the same cutscene again, and again...then it's gone too far.

A couple of games I've recently played have had me laughing aloud, enthralled and scared pantsless, spread across three genres, little alike except one thing. Very. Long. Unskippable (yes it's a word now). Cutscenes. Lego Starwars, for as child and Starwars fanatic oriented as it is, has ingame scenes that you can't skip over. I've found myself cursing many a time when I fail an objective (damn that podrace mission!) and am forced to sit through a minute or more long cutscene again. Luckily, there aren't any really long scenes though, so this is the lighter end of the spectrum.

The middle of the road is Fable: The Lost Chapters. Not only can you not skip many of the core story cutscenes (you can however skip the non-story ones), but to get the full value of the story you have to sit through some of the most unneccesarily long movie sequences ever. I swear the opening movie is 5 or more minutes long. The thing that redeems this game's annoyance factor is the cutscenes are usually interesting enough, or have enough content in them, to keep your interest two or three times. After that though, forget it.

The third example, and probably most annoying in my book, is the aforementioned F.E.A.R. demo. Not only is the opening movie irritatingly long, but you can't skip it. On top of that, after the movie there's an ingame cutscene sequence which you can't skip. While there is a good amount of content present in these presentations, they're only cool the first time through (though the part where the evil guy slices a gaurd's throat with his bare hand was pretty cool in replay). Again, there's a redeeming quality, since throughout the demo game itself you won't find a single cutscene or movie until the very end. The time between those of course is about ten minutes. I hope the final game isn't that annoying.

Demo Review: Age of Empires 3

2005-09-11T14:43:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I've slapped a post up, and I'll tell you why. I've been setting up not only a home wireless network, but my own laptop and the laptop for my parents' business. Sounds easy enough, but teaching two old folks who've never seen a real laptop in their lives is easier said than done. The network was the easy part.

That leads me to a small rant about the topic of this post: the AoE3 demo WILL NOT RUN ON A LAPTOP. Period. Don't even bother. My laptop smokes the minimum requirements by a long shot, and supports HDR and the lot, but it crashes anyway. So no mobile strategy gaming for me. However I did have the chance to try it out on my desktop yesterday, and my four word review would be: Overhyped But Still Fun.

If you know anything about me it's that I despised Age of Empires 2. I hated the engine, the game, the era, the graphics, the interface, everything. So why did I waste my time downloading a demo of a sequel of a game I hated? Easy, I could either sing its praises or rip it here. Luckily, I can do both in one shot. Without further adieu...

Graphics:

If there is one thing you'll hear hype about, it's the visuals in this game. Though it's been said the game uses High Dynamic Range lighting, that's false. It uses the "Bloom" effect present in Garry's Mod. It's not used very often either, only on the roof of a building in the actual game interface. The Shipments screen (described later) has a ton of Bloom on it, and looks very nice. The textures are excellent and believable, as well as the water shader, which is possibly the best I've ever seen. The unit models are relatively high poly, that is high enough to look good but low enough to handle dozens, if not hundred of them on the screen. Unfortunately this means differences between faction units (in the demo, England and Spain) often boil down to uniform color. You'll see no difference between an English pikeman and a Spanish one. The effects (most notably smoke and explosions) are very detailed, that's about all there is to say. While many of the animations for the models are excellent (the death animation for cavalry), some of the animations are missing altogether, and you'll find enemy Pirate units coasting around in the reference pose. This is especially true of NPCs such as bandits and the mentioned Pirates, but occurs little with your units and never with animals.

For a demo, the visuals are more or less what you would see in the final game, and despite a few animation glitches and overhyping, it scores a commendable 4 out of 5.

Gameplay:

We all know the gameplay makes the game. It doesn't matter how pretty your water is or how much Bloom you use, if the gameplay sucks, so does the game. Luckily, the gameplay doesn't suck. It's not perfect, but it's not bad either.

As far as RTS games go, there's little innovation. Point, click. Build houses, farms, harvest trees and mine gold, blah blah. That's all here. However there's one wrench thrown in the works as well for you to consider: trade routes. Trading posts are a signifigant source of both resources and experience (discussed later), and you can either ignore them or follow EA's example by monopolizing them. Both citizens and your starting hero can build these, and as soon as you find a trade route or Indian...excuse me, Native American, villiage I suggest you start right away. Every time a trade cart passes a post it'll deliver any one resource or experience points in small quantaties. See why monopolizing has benefits? A good strategy is to set each post to something different, based on what you need. Anyhow, this system is unique and interesting, something you don't see often in RTS games.

As mentioned there is an experience system as well. This system allows you to build up points to gain shipments back to your home nation. When you get a shipment, you can trade it in at the upgrades screen (the one I said has the nice Bloom lighting) for one delivery. Deliveries range from crates of food (in 300 or 600 unit varieties) to military reinforcements of various units. These upgrades are chosen by building a deck. That's right, more card-based upgrading, how original! That said, it's not a bad system, allowing you to allot 20 different upgrades to use in redeeming shipments. While a bit cliche`, it's still an effective system, and gives some incentive to that neat trade thing. Oh and one more thing to mention, the experience you get builds up to level up your city. In a very RPG sense, the upgrades and experience gained from playing is persistent, and your level 1 Ass End of Nowhere city will someday become a level 100 Booming Metropolis. This is true of both single and multiplayer, so you can match up online by city level.

The gameplay itself, economics aside, is smooth as silk. Your units act mostly as expected, though the pathfinding has its blonde moments. Units will automatically form up into rank and file, as well as arrange themselves properly when multiple types are involved. Your archers or riflemen will stay behind the melee troops up front. Ranged units will bayonett the enemy in close combat, and when attacking buildings your units are smart enough to use fire arrows/torches. The unit selection is fine generally, makes sense and is well rounded. Nothing drastically new about pikemen, musketeers, archers or cannons really. The hero unit, or explorer depending on era, has special abilities and is pretty proficient in combat, though slow moving. He'll add some zest to your army as a leader as well, though heroes can be held for ransom if captured (they can't be killed, just badly wounded, at which point they'll lie bleeding for the rest of the game if you camp them. Note: this drives the AI crazy).

Speaking of AI, it's not too shabby. The single AI profile included (Queen Isabella) has some tactics knowledge, even on the easiest level. The computer is very good at perusing the map to gather all the treasure spots (leftover supplies, hidden gold and the like, guarded by NPCs) before you get any. Other than that, there's not much to say as I've only had time to play a couple games on the lower difficulties to learn the ropes.

Though limited in variety, the demo offers the solid RTS, exploration and economics management you'd expect from a touted series. 4 out of 5.

Sounds:

This is where I have my biggest problem. The music is top-notch, perfect for the era, very ambient and highest quality. The effects, world sounds and pretty much every sound effect in the game is excellently done, from honking geese overhead to the thundering crash of a dying building. So what's wrong? The voiceovers are HORRIBLE. Besides the fact you'll have trouble hearing the much softer voice sounds over the rest of the mentioned acoustics, you'll rarely be able to understand them. I'm not sure what language the English are speaking, but it seems like a combination of Olde English and Dutch. One minute you'll get a perfectly clear "Yes" or "Alright", the next a jumble of strange words. I can understand having the faction units speak their home language, but this is definitely not just English. On the bright side, other units like Cherokee Indian...ahem Native Americans will speak their own tongue.

Though a strange compilation of voices annoys the hell out of me, the sounds are otherwise top notch and the music redeems this section's 4 out of 5.

Content:

Age of Empires has always been a closely historical game, no matter how bad the gameplay was. The third installment is no different. Though the demo only puts you in the silver-buckled shoes of the English and Spanish, both are historically sound. The Indian...erm Native Americans present in the game appear in their home regions, adding better atmosphere to the game. The one catch here is when upgrading trade posts, you go from carts, to covered wagons, to...trains? That's right, while you or your enemy are still toting around bladed impliments of death and firing bodkin arrows, you can get your gold, resources or experience delivered on the iron horse. Aside from that, little more can be discerned from the demo, as no campaign missions are available, and no additional nations are playable.

From what there is available to see, history is pretty much on target. A couple problems hit this one down a notch from perfect. 4 out of 5.

There you have it, an all around good demo, worth the download. Though I'm still ticked it won't run on my laptop, it's certainly desktop worthy. There's a torrent available for it as well, if you aren't a Gamespy subscriber. You'll have to find that yourself.

FREEDOM!

2005-09-03T13:49:00.000-07:00

Free at last! Free at last! Thank god-almighty I'm free at last! The tyranny and oppression of the evil nVidia Sentinel warning message is over! That's right, my new power supply, once thought lost by backorder, arrived to slay the dragon of Insufficient Power!

I've been so lost in glee the last few days I can hardly contain it. My power problems are solved, my laptop has been shipped, and I'm another week closer to the release of some good, interesting games! Happiness can't last forever though, with gas prices forcing you to sell yourself to science to fill 'er up, and thousands of people in peril a few hundred miles directly to the south. So what controvercial topic should I cover today? How about why Madden '06 sucks? Yeah, that's right, I went there.

You know what I love the most about Madden? Is it the graphics that have only been marginally improved since 2002? The turn-on-a-dime perfectly realistic physics? How about the ultra-realistic looking 2D-sprite fans cheering in the stadium? No, what I love is the pre-pubescent statement on the cover: "Exclusive NFL license"! I would just love to see more companies take this stance. I HAVE IT AND YOU DON'T! Is that professional or what? Great job, EA, I'll never think twice about spending fifty ducketts for your revised roster and new cover art!

Seriously though, I can see why it's getting bad ratings. They actually did change a few things this time around. They made it harder to pass, made the defence better...lots of vague, generalized "improvements" that you should believe because EA said so. After all, they couldn't falsely advertise could they? Oh yeah, they changed the roster. Again. And the title is a number higher. Again. And they updated the soundtrack with more shitty c-rap "music". Again.

Sorry football fans, you get the shaft this year. And probably the next five years, until this license expires. Of course, if you weren't all NFL-license-whores you would buy something original instead of being led around by the nose.

Ah, that felt good. Now that I've nothing else to rant about, for the moment, and everything seems happy, time to play some Gmod.

I like to kick chickens.

Backorder blues (and why I hate drop shipping)

2005-08-28T14:31:00.000-07:00

Remember those power issues I posted about earlier this month? Well, they're driving me crazier. So if the little voice in my head starts typing things, just ignore him.

I just want to [kill everyone] get rid of the power supply I have now and [beat someone's face in] replace it. I'm fairly sure that's what's causing my [homicidal tendencies] power fluxuations. Luckily, I purchased a nice X-Connect 500watt unit from Tigerdirect for a very good price. Unfortunately, it's on backorder until [I raise hell] further notice. At least once I do get it, after I [take out my rage on the innocent] give the old one the boot, maybe the problems will be fixed.

So, while I sit here [planning global destruction] waiting for that to come in, I'll bitch about not getting my laptop yet. Seriously people, it's been almost three weeks, and I've recieved *every* peice of the order *except* the laptop. The backpack, [nuclear warhead,] wireless mouse, and even [evil minions] the things for my parents' laptop. School [prison] starts Tuesday, and I'm going to be [psychotic] laptop-less probably all week.

Until then, I hope you'll [burn in hell] bear with my ranting, and [never sleep alone at night] let me voice my frustrations.

Ah, man do I feel better!

The joys of Gmod

2005-08-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

I'll tell you what, there's nothing more fun than spending a few hours building random contraptions for completely stupid reasons with people who are building even more random contraptions for even dumber reasons. A massive slingshot made of a laundry cart and two dock posts you say? I'll one up your fridge-hurling elastic-powered hamper with a death melon launching catapult of doom! Stick some whirling saw blades to a Ferrari Enzo? Not bad, padawan, but my NPC-carrying, propane-tank firing scrap tank can squash it!

In an age of modern, open-ended games, Garry's Mod takes it one step further. I'm not even going to try to explain everything you can do with it, because if you don't know by now you're living under a dumpster. I'll suffice to say whether you're defending yourself with a group of buddies against unrelenting hordes of enemies, or trying to find the most over the top method of murdering a watermelon, Gmod is pure, senseless glee.

One of the main reasons it's become to limitless is the ability for a user to create their own custom content. In other words, you can mod a mod. From adding model packs including Lego bricks or the above mentioned sports car, more advanced minimods include controls for managing or manipulating NPCs or adding admin functions. One of my personal favorites is the Gravity Gloves mod, which replaces the clunky gravity gun with simply your hands. Star Wars jokes need not apply.

With version 8.4 on the horizon I really can't wait. Who knows what will spring from Gmod next?

Dreamcast 2?

2005-08-23T20:04:00.000-07:00

After springing the news of the Xbox 360's pre-order launch on my friends, we had a nice discussion about the system itself. Leaving aside the fact you will have to refinance, take out two loans at 20% interest and sell your children to afford it, we talked about it's impending doom as a console.

I'm not sure how many of you remember the Dreamcast, the short-lived predecessor to the PS2 which Sega put out about two years before Sony's launch. Sporting the biggest, baddest graphics around at the time, it launched at a snobbishly high price tag with few quality titles backing it. Eventually it fell out of the limelight with the PS2's triumph of the console market, and was pushed back to obscurity when the Xbox came out.

In other words, the Xbox 360 is coming out too far ahead of the pack (PS3 projected launch: 2007, Nintendo Revolution unknown), with technology that won't last (3 cores compared to 7, radically new video architecture that will likely be unsupported by anyone else), and few launch titles to back it up. Who cares about an RPG about a fairy, or *another* damn racing game? Give us something original and fun, not pure eye candy that screams "buy me, I look better than the other guy!"

I must also bring to attention that the console is white. Yes, white. Throughout history, no white console has fared well. From the Magnavox Odysee to the aforementioned Dreamcast, none of them have been successful. The Atari, Genesis, PS2 and Xbox were black, and the SNES and PSX were gray. Think about that one for a minute.

Conspiracy? Maybe. Doomed to fail? I think so. Either way, I see it as the first to cross the finish line but the first to die of a coronary during the celebration.

Let the console wars begin

2005-08-23T19:37:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official. At least until they change it. Who's they? Microsoft of course! It seems the Xbox 360 is now up for preorder at EBGames.com. The good part, at least if you think the system will be worth buying, is it will be coming out before Christmas. The bad part is the price tag.

I remember only a short while ago, people were ranting about the rumor of the Playstation 3's price rising to $500. Well, it looks like they've been beaten to it. Admittedly, there is a metric ton of tech there, but unless you're unimaginably wealthy or stupid you probably aren't going to shell out six Benjamins for a toy. Of course, this is a bundle, but what isn't sold in bundles these days?

That brings me to my next point. What's with the bundles recently? Everything is sold in bundles! From consoles to pre-built PCs, everything comes packed with pre-installed software, packed full of trials or demos, or thrown in with a pile of games and accessories you probably don't want, nonetheless need anyway. If I despise fighting and racing games, this "deal" is really a ripoff, because I'm getting two $50-60 games I don't want! Do I want a headset if I don't play online? No! A high-definition cable you say? Sorry, but I couldn't afford a couple thousand dollars for a new television to play it on! Between you and I, I would rather choose my own accessories and games, not have them chosen for me and waste my money.

My final point is the sudden rise in prices itself. Consoles from last decade cost $200-400 brand new. The PS2 and Xbox both sold new for about $400 (not in a bundle, mind you!). Suddenly the prices have risen? Does it have to do with the gas prices being higher or something? Who knows. The corporate mind changes more often than politician's promises. Maybe politicians and corporations have a lot more in common than people think?

We'll see what Sony has to offer. In light of recent events, Sony has fallen from public favor slightly, but maybe such a kick in the arse was just what they needed.

Try _after_ you buy

2005-08-19T08:44:00.000-07:00

There's a phenomena sweeping the gaming world recently, or at least the gaming world inside the walls of my house. With the lack of console game demos (especially for big name titles that think they're so good they sell on name alone. And usually suck.), we've improvised a way to "try after you buy".

You see, the way it works is, you order a game from EBGames.com, and when you recieve it, play it for a day or two. If you don't like it, or it's so tragically short that you've beaten it in that time, take it back to a brick and mortar EB store. Give them a reason, or just tell them the game sucks and you want to return it, and you'll get credit/money back/a trade in.

Finally there's a way to prevent bad game investments and rock-bottom trade-in values!

Chords and cords

2005-08-17T17:29:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting conversation with a friend last night about music. I've discovered that while he's a good bit older than me, we're into the same music. I don't find that strange, because I listen to the same music my parents have always listened to: Classic rock.

Though society and pop culture seem to be moving in a very...urban...direction lately, I've been suprised to note alot of other people in my young age bracket who also enjoy Floyd, Skynyrd, Zeppelin, Tull and others. In an age of beat-boxing, bass-thumping jukeboxes on wheels in every neighborhood, where real musical instruments are being frowned upon, I'm starting to think they might soon dissapear for good. But knowing I'm not a lone rock'n'roll soldier in a new-school world really gives me hope that cheesy, lip-synching boy-bands are really gone for good, and wannabe pop divas are on their way out.

In other news, I'm beginning to think the wiring in our house is screwed up. My video card continually gives errors about low power, though there is no concequence from this that I can see. The errors are consistently random, and seem to effect anything from Word to Half Life 2. Maybe it's haunted. Yeah, I think there's the angered spirit of some boss I killed lurking in my circuitry, that has to be it.

*evil laughter echoes...*

Error: Success?

2005-08-15T12:02:00.000-07:00

I just had a fun time reinstalling Windows XP. Again.

Why you ask? It corrupted itself. That's right, Windows Update installed Service Pack 2, and it corrupted Windows. Only in Windows would something that ironically stupid happen.

First I had to jump through some electrically charged, high-tension hoops to activate my copy of Windows after my drive exploded, which involved an excrutiating automated phone marathon followed by a foreign language lesson from India (which wasn't that bad, he spoke better American than most of us). I thought I was good to go there, and I'd express update SP2, install Visual Studio and be done with it. Hah. Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.

So anyhow, back to the point. I just had to share that little peice of humor.

The price is...uncertain?

2005-08-15T00:38:00.000-07:00

Lately I've heard alot of buzz and whining about the possibility that the next-gen consoles might hike the price of games up. I've heard nothing but "Sixty bucks?! No way man!" for weeks. I've got a few things to say on the subject.

First of all, if you're already shelling out fifty per game, what's five or ten bucks extra? Sure, gas prices are through the roof (topic of a later post no doubt) and you have more than just games to spend you money on (hopefully), but with all of the deals you can get from various resellers, getting a game for today's prices shouldn't be difficult. Take a hit and trade in some of those old games you bought and later regretted, or go out on a limb and go eBaying.

Second of all, everyone complaining and making a big deal of it obviously hasn't been in the video game world long. I remember clearly about ten or twelve years ago buying Sega Genesis games that were *gasp!* $62.99! I still have a box with the Electronics Boutique price sticker on it, too. So it's been there, done that, and it certainly isn't a new trend.

Sylvester and Tweety, $62.99? (Picture taken myself)

Third of all, though there's little to no reason people can't pay it, the same applies to them charging it. For example, ESPN NFL 2K5 was sold for a wallet-pleasing $19.99. Why, you ask? No big fancy commercials, no ingame product placement, no super-fabulous box art. Is the cost really in the advertising? It must be, because as the saying goes, "the best products sell temselves", which is what happened in this case (and why EA bought the NFL license). Maybe everyone should take a hint from Sega/Take-Two. Make your games so good they sell themselves and quit spending so much on luring people into buying your sub-par games.

There is another reason behind the pricing though, that most people don't think about. Used games are a big market these days. Take a stroll into your neighborhood EB store and you'll see shelves of pre-played titles for discounted prices. The catch to used games is the company that made that game gets zilch from used sales. So the more used games people buy, the less money the company makes in the end, which might be just another reason why prices are getting the once-over.

I guess the real question here is, will you still pay it? The answer I believe is a resounding "Yes", since, well, gamers need games. This is especially true of the mainstream game market, which seems to have a flock mentality, so whatever a company makes, they'll buy. If no one takes a stand, nothing changes, and prices keep soaring (gasoline reference). Either that or warez will become mainstream (though they're making their way there anyhow).

So who will wake up first, the consumers who buy the overpriced titles, or the companies who sell them?

Exploding hard drives, communist plumbers and more

2005-08-14T18:26:00.000-07:00

Ever seen a hard drive shatter? Neither have I, but I heard it, and boy did it sound nasty. I think if you dropped a medium sized nut into the enclosure it would give a similar effect, but you would be able to see it there.

On the bright side, I have a shiny new hard drive that has a Start menu shorter than my border collie's attention span, which is refreshing. I'd just like to add that you should never depend on a hard drive that's older than your oldest game. Of course, if you're like my friend Jeff over at Codejunkie, you can't hold yourself to that rule. So I'd suggest a four year limit or so, just to be safe.

The title also references an image a friend of mine had as his MSN icon, showing that our Italian plumber hero may have been a Soviet dictator. I'm not sure if any DNA evidence supports that comrade Stalin and Mario are related or in fact, the same person, but it's a striking resemblence:

Hmm...Comrade Mario?

Just look at the moustache...

That's about all for today, kids. Come back tomarrow when I actually post something interesting!